Would you move to find love?

by Dating Goddess on May 9, 2012

Last week a fellow globetrotting gal pal and I were sitting by the pool in Siem Reap, Cambodia during a 2-week trip to SE Asia. We were comparing notes about our recent dating lives. Or lack thereof. And our frustration at finding a sweetheart who had the means, time and desire to travel, and who had mutual attraction.

We share a lot of the same criteria for a man we’d welcome in our lives. We both want someone we find intellectually and physically attractive, and who could join us — even if only occasionally — on our global adventures. We’ve dated aggressively in our own home areas and not had much luck.

She asked, would you move to an area where there might be more of the type of man you’re looking for?

I thought about it.

I’ve tried long-distance relationships, and none have worked as I’ve found it’s way too hard to develop the closeness I want. But to move to an area just to find love?

Hmmm. Seems like a lot of effort.

She said she thought the men in Turkey and Greece would find me fetching. I have had a great time with the Greek men I’ve met. But then, there are Greek men in my area. Why not go to more Greek community activities?

But we kept talking.

How about just having an extended stay in one of those places, either domestically or internationally? Live there for a few months and see what happens?

She’s planning a trip to Turkey in the summer and invited me along. Maybe I’ll go on a man-scouting tour and see what happens. I’m not really into vacation romances, but I could see what the “inventory” is like.

Would you move to find love?
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

c lee May 10, 2012 at 7:07 am

Are you kidding? Be sure to add additional filters to your screening… those guys who are looking for a US citizenship. And the huge old world cultural difference. As jr. high-aged child, I lived in Turkey for 3 years. Every time I’d walk by a group of men, I’d hear “I love you”… or more suggestive things. Women were 2nd class citizens. A good friend of mine married a newly arrived Greek guy in the US. After being swept off her feet by his exotic accent and an old-world marriage, she now spends all her time huddled with the females, looking after the house, while the men go off on their entrepreneurial (mis-)adventures. I’m neither anti-Greek nor anti-Turkish, but there is a huge, chauvinistic gulf — and it takes more than one generation to lose that. Our U.S. equivalent men (intelligent, wish to travel, comfortably well-off) just plain aren’t ready to settle. Have you ever notice how those are the men on dating sites for years and years and years…. even when there are some stunning, smart, females also online? Quick hits online or traveling abroad aren’t going to do it — unless you want to make major compromises…. I think expectations need to be seriously reconsidered.

Christian May 10, 2012 at 10:37 am

I moved to Portland because of love.

Richard May 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm

If I could, I would. I hear that there is a great (from the guy’s point of view) female to male ratio in Russia/Former Soviet Union area. Unfortunately, my job does not lend itself to permanent nor temporary relocation to anywhere outside the USA.

If I had a a more mobile job, then why not? A lot depends upon the area. Greece is in a lot of financial turmoil right now.

>Hmmm. Seems like a lot of effort.

It takes a lot of effort to get gold from a spent mine. Once you have exhausted the low hanging fruit in your own area, it might be less effort to work the low hanging fruit in another area than to get to the harder to reach fruit in your own area.

Think of it as an adventure to get to know a different part of the world, with the added bonus of getting to know a certain few people in more depth.

Expectations are also key. Are you willing to make it permanent? It will be more difficult to find someone willing to relocate.

Liz May 10, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Actually I did move about 6 years ago for love. I was fortunate enough to have a telecommunication job working from a computer. When I left to live with my then boyfriend, we had an understanding that my plans were to live with him for a couple months and then come back “home” as I have family here. Then we would continue on in a similar fashion and he agreed. It did not work out due to compatability issues but I have NEVER regretted it. In fact, I look at it as one of the great adventures of my life.

Lisa May 10, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Unless I lived in a town of about 500, I don’t know if I would move just to hope to meet more suitable men. But I guess if you have no deep personal or professional attachments to an area, why not? Personally, if I were to do that, I would move to a place that I myself would really like to experience and then if better men are there, yippee! However, there is the “grass is always greener…” syndrome.. Whose to say you move to Paris and the person you hope to meet is living in Punxsatawney, PA? There are also a lot of cultural differences that come into play when dating someone from another country.
DG, if you like to bike, I would get involved in cycling because men always out number women there. I do a lot of solo bike touring of the “roughing it” variety, but there are a lot of organzied bike tours where they carry all your gear and you stay in nice hotels, etc. where you could meet some active men who are smart and curious about the world. I think you can even sit by the pool during some of these tours!
Bonne chance!

Grace Pamer May 11, 2012 at 5:19 am

Sure why not. For people who have a ‘type’ in mind it makes sense to go where their type congregate. So if your type was a football jock you’d go to a sports bar, if your type was a Jersey Shore type you’d move to Jersey shore central. As such the same would apply if you’re into Greek/Turkish men.

That said moving your entire life to a whole new country is somewhat extreme. If you’ve met someone whilst on holiday and want to continue it then sure I’d move. But if moving just for the sake of finding a partner, well that seems a little over the top.

If you have the desire to move to a new country for the country itself then why not throw the excitement of perhaps meeting a partner into the bargain. Travel broadens the mind afterall so if you can find romance along the way then all the better. I just wouldn’t travel with only romance in mind.

Great post and discussion though.

Thanks
Grace

Randy May 15, 2012 at 3:04 pm

YES! I would certainly consider moving to another city/country to pursue a relationship if it held real promise. Let’s say I was on a vacation and met an amazing woman and we felt undeniable, mutual attraction and sparks. If over time it continued to strengthen from afar, I would consider making a move to continue the journey.

I’ve always thought it funny that in this great big world of ours, we think we will find our ‘one true love’ right in our very own backyard. It’s possible of course, but could also be less the love of our life and more a love of ‘convenience’. Just my thought.

Walker, May 18, 2012 at 3:43 am

I would not consider moving in hopes of finding a man, but I might consider relocating for one specific man. Like Randy, if I were to meet that special person on my travels it would be an idea worth considering.

Moving to a specific locale in search of the right man feels as if the quest for a mate takes precedence over other aspects of life. I think you’d set yourself up for failure to uproot from an established life for the “hope of….”.

But, if you’re the adventurous type it might be fun.

Silverman June 1, 2012 at 8:19 am

Yes, i travelled 300miles to live with my soulmate.

Francis August 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

Interesting post. I would not move to another country in order to find the man of my dreams. However that said, I am looking to move to North America for a change of scenery. But it would be an added bonus to find my soul mate along the way

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