Comments on: Where’s the line between getting your needs met and being selfish? http://www.datinggoddess.com/wheres-the-line-between-getting-your-needs-met-and-being-selfish/ Mon, 06 Oct 2008 23:03:09 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: nysharon http://www.datinggoddess.com/wheres-the-line-between-getting-your-needs-met-and-being-selfish/#comment-2847 nysharon Fri, 16 May 2008 13:29:05 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1295#comment-2847 Not being able to meet in the middle underminds most relationships, whether it has to do with money, time, or sex. It was certainly the demise of my marriage. Consistantly over time it becomes selfish and unloving. Not being able to meet in the middle underminds most relationships, whether it has to do with money, time, or sex. It was certainly the demise of my marriage. Consistantly over time it becomes selfish and unloving.

]]> By: Allison Allen http://www.datinggoddess.com/wheres-the-line-between-getting-your-needs-met-and-being-selfish/#comment-2845 Allison Allen Wed, 14 May 2008 14:57:40 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1295#comment-2845 Definitely an issue. I'm sure somewhere it says, the willingness to compromise is directly correlated to a relationship's longevity. :) I think part of it is 'how important is this to me on a scale of 1 to 10'? On the meteor shower, in the scheme of things, that's not quite as important as attending your niece's graduation it seems to me. And your suggestion of what is it about your preference that he has a problem with completely opens the door to finding a compromise that is good for both. On the wedding/graduation scenario, those are both events that are important to other important people in your respective lives. Even though going alone isn't fun, that may be the best of a range of not so great choices. I think that's what compromise is, weighing the relative importance of the situation in the grand scheme of life, considering merits of the options available, and then being willing to tolerate the not so great option if there isn't one that allows both parties needs to be met. Life was easier when relationships were based on economics and not getting emotional needs met, would you agree? :) Definitely an issue. I’m sure somewhere it says, the willingness to compromise is directly correlated to a relationship’s longevity. :)

I think part of it is ‘how important is this to me on a scale of 1 to 10′? On the meteor shower, in the scheme of things, that’s not quite as important as attending your niece’s graduation it seems to me. And your suggestion of what is it about your preference that he has a problem with completely opens the door to finding a compromise that is good for both.

On the wedding/graduation scenario, those are both events that are important to other important people in your respective lives. Even though going alone isn’t fun, that may be the best of a range of not so great choices.

I think that’s what compromise is, weighing the relative importance of the situation in the grand scheme of life, considering merits of the options available, and then being willing to tolerate the not so great option if there isn’t one that allows both parties needs to be met.

Life was easier when relationships were based on economics and not getting emotional needs met, would you agree? :)

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