When the other woman is grandkids

by Dating Goddess on November 21, 2011

Most of us would be hurt and disappointed if our man cheated with another woman. We would feel betrayed.

But what if the object of our love’s attention wasn’t a woman — but his young grandchild?

We want to be supportive, as children can be magical. A grandparent’s relationship with their grandchild can be hugely important to both. But what if his affection towards his grandchildren overshadows his relationship with you?

When a man shares how important his grandkids are to him, I’m glad he has a good relationship with them. However, I’m a little cautious, as what if I’m not fond of them? What if he wants to spend all his (and much of our) time with them? Sometimes the kids are great; other times they are spoiled and no one sees it but me. That is not fun.

A gal pal shared that her 3-year relationship with a man she adored broke up because he wanted to be with his two small grandkids rather than travel extensively with her, as they’d done the last few years. She can’t be mad at him — of course his wanting to be with them at a tender age is understandable. But being childfree, she can only empathize intellectually. She’s fond of the kids, but doesn’t want to be with them 24/7 as he does.

She’s sad. Very sad. She still loves him, and he loves her, but they don’t now see a way around his wanting to see his little grands every day and her wanting to take extensive trips. Skype video chats between him and the kids doesn’t really do it, nor does it work well between him and her.

They are pulled in different life directions because of different priorities. Saying goodbye to the relationship they had is hard, even though they know they will still be connected, it won’t be the same.

Have you ever ended a relationship because of shifted life priorities? How did you make it as least painful as possible?

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