Comments on: When breaking up is taking a stand

By: Tanya

Tanya — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 02:27:05 +0000

This post was right on the money. I was in this type of relationship when I realized it was not working for me. I ended the relationship and relocated to another state. Two years later, he claimed I was the one he wanted to marry and stated he would do better, so I gave it another try. I really though we were going to make it, but within months it was the same issues. I ended the relationship. This time for good. Now I am left wondering would I ever fine someone that could be truly commited to me.

By: Sherri

Sherri — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:34:54 +0000

Dear DG,

The biggest challenge for me in knowing when to end a relationship has been learning to define my needs versus the needs and expectations of those around me. I tended to look to other relationships that were working in the past, and try to imitate those. Once I was able to figure out what I (nobody else!) needed in a union, it made it easier to work through the exhortations and advice of others and my own fear of being alone.

My divorce was long, ugly and painful. But when I finally did decide to leave, I exited with a clear heart because I’d learned enough about myself to know quite clearly that I could no longer stay in the marriage and expect to thrive. That knowledge has been key to my navigating the divorce’s aftermath and building a rich and rewarding life as a single mom.

By: David

David — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 04:09:38 +0000

Carl,

don’t worry. Not all women are like this. There are reasons why some of us past 40 are still dating. If we were better at relationships we’d have been coupled up long ago.

Still, dating past 40 is not bad, it’s just not the best time to look for a happily-ever-after relationship.

In your mid to late 20s odds are better. Don’t wait too long.

By: Barb

Barb — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:37:10 +0000

Amazing how the post is so appropriate for what’s going on in my life right.this.very.minute. It helps to remind myself that while we both may have tried to make the other happy, we may just be a mismatch. Thanks!

By: Carl

Carl — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 03:33:55 +0000

I’m 23, kind of shy and inexperienced in the dating scene. I happened to find this blog doing a google image search for broken dishes… After reading a few entries I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever have a girlfriend or if it’s even worth trying. Granted there are plenty of fish in the sea and lots of types of people. But man, I could never cut the mustard if these are the standards I’m up against. Got any advice? (if the advice is to get a cat, I’m way ahead of you)

By: Ellen

Ellen — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 04:11:39 +0000

Oh, girlfriend, is it ever tought to give up a guy who gives us something we like!!! Listen, we need to keep our eyes and ears open, enjoy what we get, but not get attached to a guy who doesn’t treat us like a goddess. I know that sounds cheesy, but we deserve to be adored by someone who believes we are the best thing to ever happen to him. Of course, we need to give him what he needs in a big way, too. I am a bold independent woman of the millenium, but this doesn’t preclude being adored. I vote we NEVER settle for a guy who doesn’t treat us like a queen. Never.

xo Ellen
http://www.wonderfulonlinewomenLA.com

By: Devon

Devon — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 02:49:19 +0000

I agree that letting go when things aren’t working is good for self-esteem. So much better than accommodating and hoping things will improve. I have released a few really good men over the last 2 years – because I felt intuitively that they just weren’t right for me. It’s important to listen to that inner voice.

By: Loving Annie

Loving Annie — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 23:04:12 +0000

Very wise post and something to really pay attention to. Letting go when it isn’t working for me actually is good for my self-esteem. It says I know I deserve better.

Having been the one dumped most often, I find it far easier to be the dumpee – then I can let go and move forward so much easier and quicker.