What’s your no-kissing zone?

by Dating Goddess on March 8, 2011

At the train station in Cheshire, England, officials erected a “No Kissing” sign since traffic stacked up while amorous lovers made out bidding each other good-bye.

It made me wonder about our own personal no-kissing zones. Although many (most?) daters don’t mind some PDA, there are places we’d rather not neck.

For example, after several weeks of intensive calls, an out-of-town suitor decided he just couldn’t wait to show me how glad he was to be with me at last. As we walked to the restaurant down my home town main drag, he backed me up to a building and started necking. While I appreciated his attraction to me, I was dismayed at his choice of spots, as who knew which of my clients might amble by.

I tried to break off to tell him to wait until we were in private, but he scoffed saying, “I don’t care who sees.” Thanks, bub, for caring about my desires!

With other men, I was less concerned with being smooched in public. While I try to balance honoring spontaneity with discretion, if besotted with a man, I didn’t mind long smooches outside a neighborhood haunt, no matter who was around.

In fact, one of my most delicious dates was at the movies with a particularly alluring sweetheart. We chose an early movie with few people in the theater and sat in the very back. We started canoodling, conscious of being as quiet as possible. We did nothing more than kiss. A few rows in front of us sat another middle-aged couple. At the end of the flick, they turned to look at us and seemed shocked we weren’t teenagers.

However, that was in the dark, not broad daylight, and not in a place where others would easily see us.

What are your boundaries around long kisses (not just quick pecks) in public? Does it depend on who you’re with and your feelings toward him? Or the location — neighborhood vs. unfamiliar area? Or the amount of wine you’ve had? :-)

_______________

Want to understand more of what you should know on your way to intimacy? Get your copy of From Fear to Frolic: Get Naked Without Getting Embarrassed.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

DatingForLOLs March 9, 2011 at 8:32 am

Back in London, the only boundaries I had were the law! But while I’m living in Thailand, I try to be mindful of the cultural etiquette that’s expected.

Thais dislike any OTT display of affection, so I normally keep it to a peck unless I know I’m definitely alone…

maria rose March 9, 2011 at 10:19 am

to be in throes of love again—what i may have done in my younger more reckless days i don’t feel as comfortable getting it on in public now. But if i ever get into an established relationship i wouldn’t mind giving or getting a long passionate kiss in public. the problem now is the key word established relationship exclusive of others. i am looking for a long term permanent partner and until i meet that partner all pre-play passions are not for public enjoyment

liz March 11, 2011 at 11:59 am

I recently met a man for the first time who kept touching my hair and sneaked in for a kiss on my cheek without any encouragement at the restaurant. He asked if he was making me uncomfortable and I said yes and told him that he was, in essence, a stranger to me. He was calling and e-mailing me so I would give him one more try. After telling him he was aggressive and invading my personal space, he told me that I am not like all the other women he met who seemed to like all that attention, to show them what a caring man he really is. Huh?

For me, personally, a quick kiss in public is okay with someone I really like along with hand holding and arms around each other. I like to keep passion private!

Fancy March 18, 2011 at 1:32 pm

I find that I like PDA’s if I’m into the man but even then I don’t want smooches to be so involved and deep that people stop to watch! I prefer to keep the really sexy kissing and touching private myself. It’s a matter of self-respect for me. Thanks for all your fun thoughts!

Mitsy March 29, 2011 at 12:24 pm

I think long PDA’s aren’t ever going to mesh w/me even with a guy I care about. Most guys I’ve been in any long-term relationship with felt the same way. It’s one thing to hold hands in public, but anything more than a quick kiss doesn’t sit well w/me in public. I also wouldn’t want to be gawked at by anyone. Thus, my belief that some things can wait & be done in private.

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: