Comments on: The stealth date http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/ Dating-over-40 advice by the Dating Goddess™ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:14:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: ktr899 http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/comment-page-1/#comment-3683 ktr899 Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:10:22 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1362#comment-3683 It's funny because I was just reading on a website about how a little red flag pops up for women when men don't have a job or aspirations. It made me think of that, though I think in this case it is more about him having time and concentration to find a job and not be sidetracked by a relationship. One thing about not being ready for a relationship, I think if you take it slow, and maybe become friends and talk for awhile, it may work out. My good friend is getting married to her rebound guy from a three year relationship. Sometimes it's meant to be so you can always take it slow, and not necessarily let the great guy out of your life just yet! It’s funny because I was just reading on a website about how a little red flag pops up for women when men don’t have a job or aspirations. It made me think of that, though I think in this case it is more about him having time and concentration to find a job and not be sidetracked by a relationship. One thing about not being ready for a relationship, I think if you take it slow, and maybe become friends and talk for awhile, it may work out. My good friend is getting married to her rebound guy from a three year relationship. Sometimes it’s meant to be so you can always take it slow, and not necessarily let the great guy out of your life just yet!

]]> By: Dating Goddess http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/comment-page-1/#comment-3664 Dating Goddess Sun, 14 Sep 2008 02:25:07 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1362#comment-3664 Thank you Gypsy, and you DO belong here because we welcome guys' perspective, even if I write for women. And I appreciate the compliment. How old are you? :-) DG Thank you Gypsy, and you DO belong here because we welcome guys’ perspective, even if I write for women.

And I appreciate the compliment.

How old are you? :-)

DG

]]> By: GypsyJ http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/comment-page-1/#comment-3663 GypsyJ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 02:11:38 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1362#comment-3663 I'm a guy--yeah and maybe I don't belong here, but I've got to tell you, that you are doing it RIGHT. In fact I'd like to add just one thing to all the comments that have been made. Become BEST FRIENDS first and foremost. I'm not talking Best OF Friends--but Best Friends--a huge difference. If both of you don't (or can't) do that--the relationship will be rocky at best. I admire you Dating Goddess and the very very best to you in your endeavor. Oh BTW, I'm probably old enough to be your daddy, but I just wanted to wish you well in your endeavor. I’m a guy–yeah and maybe I don’t belong here, but I’ve got to tell you, that you are doing it RIGHT. In fact I’d like to add just one thing to all the comments that have been made. Become BEST FRIENDS first and foremost. I’m not talking Best OF Friends–but Best Friends–a huge difference. If both of you don’t (or can’t) do that–the relationship will be rocky at best.

I admire you Dating Goddess and the very very best to you in your endeavor. Oh BTW, I’m probably old enough to be your daddy, but I just wanted to wish you well in your endeavor.

]]> By: Devon http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/comment-page-1/#comment-3646 Devon Fri, 12 Sep 2008 17:34:17 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1362#comment-3646 It took me a while to learn this lesson. Things have not turned out well when things have progressed too quickly. It took a long distance connection for me to learn that a slower pace can bring great rewards. We learned a lot about each other over time through phone and e-mail in between visits. I would recommend stealth dating to newly divorced women, and those of us that have a tendency to jump in too quickly. It took me a while to learn this lesson. Things have not turned out well when things have progressed too quickly. It took a long distance connection for me to learn that a slower pace can bring great rewards. We learned a lot about each other over time through phone and e-mail in between visits. I would recommend stealth dating to newly divorced women, and those of us that have a tendency to jump in too quickly.

]]> By: Ellen http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/comment-page-1/#comment-3644 Ellen Fri, 12 Sep 2008 11:01:38 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1362#comment-3644 Very cool. I call it nondating, like hanging out without a label or any expectations. It allows us to know each other without creating fantasies about what "could" happen and to see each other as we really are. It keeps the physicalness out of the relationship until we are close friends and decide to progress. I've been known to say to a man who has asked me out "I'll go out if you don't call it a date!" It's very low pressure and keeps us from having to guard our bodies against unwanted romantic overtures until it's the right time. It allows us to be real about who we each are without trying to put on an act or impress the other. How smart is this!!! xo Ellen www.wonderfulonlinewomenLA.com Very cool. I call it nondating, like hanging out without a label or any expectations. It allows us to know each other without creating fantasies about what “could” happen and to see each other as we really are. It keeps the physicalness out of the relationship until we are close friends and decide to progress. I’ve been known to say to a man who has asked me out “I’ll go out if you don’t call it a date!” It’s very low pressure and keeps us from having to guard our bodies against unwanted romantic overtures until it’s the right time. It allows us to be real about who we each are without trying to put on an act or impress the other. How smart is this!!!

xo Ellen
http://www.wonderfulonlinewomenLA.com

]]> By: Catherine http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/comment-page-1/#comment-3640 Catherine Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:43:15 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1362#comment-3640 YES!!! I keep telling one of my friends that this is exactly how one finds the "right" guy. We all seem to rush much to quickly into calling something a relationship. when in fact if we were friends first (for more than a week or a month) then we would have much more information to base our decision as to are we right for a longterm romantic relationship. I firmly believe this is the answer, now it has a name... stealth dating. I think the teens call it hanging out. Either way it gives time an opportunity to weigh in on the chances of things working out. YES!!! I keep telling one of my friends that this is exactly how one finds the “right” guy. We all seem to rush much to quickly into calling something a relationship. when in fact if we were friends first (for more than a week or a month) then we would have much more information to base our decision as to are we right for a longterm romantic relationship.

I firmly believe this is the answer, now it has a name… stealth dating. I think the teens call it hanging out. Either way it gives time an opportunity to weigh in on the chances of things working out.

]]> By: Loving Annie http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/comment-page-1/#comment-3639 Loving Annie Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:07:57 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1362#comment-3639 Stealth dating is a brilliant idea. If I could just keep my lower extremities from stopping the blood flow to my brain, I'd make much better relationship choices. And yes, I'm a woman saying that !!!! Stealth dating is a brilliant idea. If I could just keep my lower extremities from stopping the blood flow to my brain, I’d make much better relationship choices. And yes, I’m a woman saying that !!!!

]]> By: PreviouslyQofE http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/comment-page-1/#comment-3630 PreviouslyQofE Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:44:17 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1362#comment-3630 I think it's called being/becoming good friends, DG, and that's the best basis for a relationship. And you are so right, giving yourself time to rest/recover/heal, you're smart enough to learn your lessons from other relationships, and considerate enough to put off pursuing a romantic interest while he's job hunting. Enjoy the time spent with him just on that basis, without overanalyzing. Goodness knows we do way too much of that! I think it’s called being/becoming good friends, DG, and that’s the best basis for a relationship. And you are so right, giving yourself time to rest/recover/heal, you’re smart enough to learn your lessons from other relationships, and considerate enough to put off pursuing a romantic interest while he’s job hunting. Enjoy the time spent with him just on that basis, without overanalyzing. Goodness knows we do way too much of that!

]]> By: cheryl http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/comment-page-1/#comment-3629 cheryl Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:23:54 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1362#comment-3629 Good for you to have the self-discipline to take it slowly. You are wise and most likely, the exception. A woman like me would dive right back in, even knowing it wasn't for the best. Good for you to have the self-discipline to take it slowly. You are wise and most likely, the exception. A woman like me would dive right back in, even knowing it wasn’t for the best.

]]> By: hooligan http://www.datinggoddess.com/the-stealth-date/comment-page-1/#comment-3626 hooligan Thu, 11 Sep 2008 10:55:22 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1362#comment-3626 Yeah you in a bit of a tough situation. I don't know what I would do if I was you. Yeah you in a bit of a tough situation. I don’t know what I would do if I was you.

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