The benefits of flirting

by Dating Goddess on April 8, 2011

I like to flirt. I don’t ever expect anything from it. I’m surprised if there is a benefit beyond just fun.

This week I had an experience that cemented my belief in harmless flirting. Not that I needed any encouragement!
I’m in London this week and my travel pal and I decided to see a play. We were keen on seeing “The Children’s Hour” but were loath to pay full price. The half-off ticket stands didn’t have any tickets for this play since it was wildly popular so the theater didn’t have trouble filling the house.

We traipsed off to the theater’s box office an hour before curtain time. A young man greeted us cheerfully behind the plexiglass so I returned his broad smile.

“Hi. We’re interested in the best seats for the cheapest price for tonight’s performance.”

He playfully responded, “Cheap is in the eye of the beholder. Let me tell you what seats we have available.”

He looked at his list. “Fifty-one pounds for side orchestra. Sixty-five pounds for center balcony.”

I smiled. “My dear, I think we have different definitions of ‘cheap.’ We’d love the center balcony. But sixty-five pounds is too much. Are they really good seats?”

“They’re great seats. I haven’t seen the play, but I hear they have good sight lines.”

“You haven’t seen the play? Really?”

“No, we have to buy tickets, too.”

“Well, that’s not right. You can come with us and sit on our laps.”

He shrieked with delight, nearly falling off his chair laughing.

“Listen, you have absolutely made my day. Is there anyone behind you?” I turned and looked, then shook my head ‘no.’ “I’m going to give you these center balcony seats for 25 lbs. Just don’t tell anyone!”

I promised I wouldn’t. No one at all — except all my blog readers. :-)

So flirting has untold benefits. If it is done appropriately, especially with strangers, both parties will have a fun experience. And you never know what hidden benefits will come of it.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Catherine April 9, 2011 at 10:20 am

Couldn’t agree more! But I will also say that it’s not just flirting – you’d be amazed how friendly people are if you just take a moment to be nice, honest and respectful to them. Give people a chance (especially in the service industry) to feel like you care what they think (and you should) and it will make a world of difference!

maria rose April 10, 2011 at 7:36 am

you made that guy’s day with your comment. Being in service retail myself, despite the fact i try very hard to be cheerful and smiley all day to customers, there are times when a customer makes me feel very special and i respond back with even better service.

Ronnie Ann Ryan - The Dating Coach April 11, 2011 at 5:25 am

DG – Great use of flirting! As I share with my dating coaching clients, flirting is a fun and playful way to interact with people that simply acknowledges others. Today, acknowledgement is a rare commodity. You delighted the box office fellow and made him feel appreciated. While you can’t count on the results (half price tickets), frequently the good feelings you leave others with also rewarding for you!

Flirt as a way of life to share your delightful nature and don’t worry about any other agenda. My dating coaching clients learn this is particularly important when you are somewhere (singles events, dances, the gym, etc.) men can notice you. As you demonstrate your friendly, fun attitude, more men will be willing to risk talking to you.

Men don’t like to be rejected, so flirting makes you approachable! There’s absolutely no way to lose, but the gains can be amazing.

Kate April 12, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Great story – but I would never have called that flirting – I think that’s being wonderfully open and human and fun loving – who could fail to be drawn in by that? I’ve always seen flirting as one on one with the tantalising possibility it could go further. A teasing step forward then a short retreat and so on….Different definitions I guess.

Having the approach/attitude you describe attracts good luck and happy people around you – that’s been my experience. It’s the only way to travel! BTW what was the play like?

Dating Goddess April 12, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Kate: Perhaps I am overreaching with my definition of flirting. You are right that a playful approach gets a lot. Today that approach garnered me a 20% discount at an Amsterdam gift shop without my asking. The shops are not keen on negotiating we’ve found. And our playfulness at the gelato shop with another patron created a fun 10 minutes with a delightful couple from Qatar.

I’ve found being present and engaging with the person, rather than the typical “transactional” interaction, not only makes our day but our server’s as well. It appears it is rare for patrons to actually treat the service personal as real people rather than a human robot. We get have more fun, have some memorable interactions, and perhaps a good story to share like the one above.

Yvette Francino April 15, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Love this and love the playful attitude! Yes, wouldn’t it be fun if we would always be playful and flirtatious in all our exchanges? I like to do this with everyone, regardless of their age, gender, or availability! (Though, admittedly, I keep it pretty innocent… don’t want to lead someone on or give spouses/partners reason to be jealous. I usually add them in to my silly behavior so no one feels left out. :-) )

Lynda April 29, 2011 at 11:03 am

That´s it, this is the way we make our life colourful and the days memorable.

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