The altered state of “in love”

by Dating Goddess on September 10, 2012

Brain scans show that the same regions of the brain are activated after taking cocaine as when subjects were shown pictures of someone they said they were in love with.

When I’ve been in love, I’ve relished the feeling: the excitement when hearing his voice, getting his text or email, even just looking at his picture. Such euphoria.

And it extends beyond direct triggers of him. Food tastes better, colors more vivid, music better, touch more sensual. A huge grin seems plastered on one’s face. Life just seems better. Much better.

But the part we don’t realize in our narcotic-like haze is that our judgement is clouded. We don’t see obvious signs that others around us see clearly. We overlook glaring clues that this relationship will cause us heartbreak sooner or later — or could even be dangerous.

In reviewing my last relationship, I now see how the man who captured my heart was controlling and abusive. One of my best friends tried to discuss his selfish behavior. I responded with excuses for his inexcusable behavior.

Since in retrospect we see our judgement is not always the best, why do we allow ourselves to plunge head first into the fray? If we were wise, we’d arrange with close friends to not just be invited to tell us what we’re not seeing, but be obligated to. And when they do, we have to promise not to get mad.

Maybe we’d need to make a sign for our mirror about this agreement.:-)

If you are not now in love, what would you advise your future in-love self so you can avoid the pitfalls you usually fall into? Or what would you advise others for when they find themselves falling in love?

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Dating after 40: Date or WaitDate or Wait: Are You Ready for Mr. Great?
http://www.datinggoddess.com/new-books-by-dating-goddess/date-or-wait-are-you-ready-for-mr-great/

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