Stud finder

by Dating Goddess on December 30, 2010

When I decided to hang a picture recently, I wished I had a stud finder to ensure the nail went into wood instead of just plaster.

Then it hit me — wouldn’t it be great to have a similar tool when looking for a man! One that would guarantee hitting a solid man, not a flaky one. Can you imagine how much easier it would be when you walked into a bar or singles event with one of these devices? It would light up and sound off when a responsible, solid, upright man was found!

I thought I’d play with this theme when talking to a new man the other night. We’d emailed, texted and talked over the last 2 weeks. But our schedules haven’t lined up so we can actually rendezvous. From all indications thus far he seems mature, intelligent, articulate, down-to-earth, responsible, humble and a gentleman.

We were chitchatting, as one does when getting to know one another. I told him of my need to hang a picture and my lack of a stud finder. He told me how great they are; they light up and buzz when a stud is found. I playfully said, “Then I should bring one when we first meet so it will help me locate you.”

Without missing a beat, he said, “It will explode.”

I nearly fell off my chair laughing. This was so out of character to the humble man I had thought him to be. It wasn’t off putting, but instead delightful that he’d come back so quickly with such a funny comment.

So, ladies, let’s build our dream Human Stud Finder. I don’t mean “stud” in merely the sexual vein, although, of course, that’s important. What else would we build into this new tool to help us ferret out the qualities we want? I’ll get us going: honesty, caring, romance, intelligence, emotionally stable, financially sound, healthy, responsible.

In addition to other qualities, how do you imagine our invention would work? Should it have an “anti-stud” feature to alert us of those with less-than-quality values? Do we program it with what we’re looking for and have it scan the room for those with a high percentage of matches? And assuming men have whatever the equivalent would be, it would be easy to see who is a mutual match.

Now, perhaps we can get someone to program and build this to our specs. We’d make millions!

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Until the Human Stud Finder is invented, we are left to our own devices to determine if a man is a good fit for us or not. To help you with that, get your copy of Real Deal or Faux Beau: Should You Keep Seeing Him?

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