Comments on: Stood up!

By: michele

michele — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 23:37:27 +0000

I enjoyed reading these stories because it just happen to me. I met this guy online we had two great date i thought things were going good. We planned our third date this past weekend, he was going to drive to see me about a hour out of the city, meet some of my friends and then plan to spend time to ourselfs. He was suppose to call at 6 but know call so I called him at 7 he said he was on his way just a liitle late leave. As I was waiting I went online to past the time and he was online the whole time he never left, I did call once to see whwer he was but got voice mail I never called him back and he never called me I see when he is online but I don’t bother in email him. There is a part of me that can’t belive why someone would do this.

By: Marina

Marina — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 16:34:28 +0000

I have to concur with many of the others. If he doesn’t show up, doesn’t return voice mail or attempt to contact you to let you know he’s running late, and/or doesn’t apologize within a day or two — write him off.

The older I get the less I put up with other people’s b.s! This guy was inconsiderate at best; a total flake at worst. Eithere way, he is a LOSER! And why waste your precious time with a man like that?

By: MADY

MADY — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 00:10:22 +0000

I date exclusively from dating sites..heres how I remedy that..and dont get STOOD UP..
first i never make the first date anything more then a simple cocktail date,
its always lets meet outside a pub in a strip mall near me..I ask him to call before he leaves ( he is usually at least an hour away) and again when he gets there if he doesnt call at the appointed time about an hour before the meeting time..I dont get ready just forget about it..if he does I do get ready..when he calls and says he is waiting out side.. I leave I am only 5 min away..
with all the flakes on the net its the only sensible thing to do..

By: Dating Goddess

Dating Goddess — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 21:07:02 +0000

Ellen:

While lack of communication is a deal breaker, I’ve also learned to not make a judgment based on incomplete information. I haven’t heard his side of the story. I may never hear it. If I don’t hear from him by the end of today, I’ll totally write this one off to lack of consideration. But I’m willing to listen if he got in a tremendous car wreck that took him out of pocket for 24 hours. Or something happened to his daughter that made him otherwise focused. Or if he thought it was for a different day. Miscommunication does happen, and I’m not immune to it, so will allow a few more hours of grace.

By: Ellen

Ellen — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 20:46:59 +0000

For me, dating is a time to learn about the other person, to just look at his actions and listen to his words and see what kind of person he is. Lots of my friends (and me in the past) make excuses for the things the guy does that should be inexcusable, but the guys like that always prove to be unworthy and the ladies just waste time and energy. I vote we listen and learn and think about what the other person says and does as if we were an outsider or a journalist, someone just making observations and not being emotionally involved. We are so involved with hoping it will be wonderful that we miss the reality of what’s in front of us. A guy who is late and is not dead or unconscious is a write-off. Orange flags? Come on, it’s red or nothing, we can’t make an undesirable person into someone desirable just by wishing and wanting!!!

xo Ellen
http://www.wonderfulonlinewomenLA.com

By: walt

walt — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 17:18:26 +0000

We made tentative plans to meet for coffee, but never confirmed. She thought the date was on, I thought no confirmation meant it wasn’t. So, she went to Starbuck’s, waited for a half hour, then left. Amazingly, she agreed to try again. Now we’re at the two month mark, and having a rockin’ good time!

By: Kaye

Kaye — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 13:16:50 +0000

A couple come to mind.

Number 1 was half and hour late. I had left to go home when he called me. His excuse? He fell asleep! Didn’t sound like he was very motivated to meet me. While he was with me at coffee, he was very apologetic, very charming. After, emailed and promised to call me soon. Never heard from him again. I think he likes to collect first dates. Your #77 sounds like one who’s more interested in getting the responses than even meeting someone.

The second was someone who got caught is very bad traffic. I don’t have a cell phone, so he called the coffee house I was at and had them track me down. He got major points for his perseverance. Since traffic would take a long time to get back to normal, we rescheduled for dinner and had a lovely time.

As for the man in your article - that he’s not yet divorced is a huge red flag for me. I simply do not date married men. And yes, separated or “filed for divorce” are still versions of married. One friend puts it this way - you’re either working on your marriage or working on your divorce - you don’t get to date until you are divorced.

By: Carla

Carla — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 12:50:50 +0000

This happened to me twice! The first time, the prospective date had an accident on his way to meet me. The second time, the guy never showed, never called and never responded to my e-mail. I was dumbfounded as to why he ever set it up. Perhaps he is one of those guys who likes to e-mail and then gets his kicks from imagining a women waiting for him. I met him online and since found his profile listed in 2 more cities…perhaps he lives in none of these and just pursues women via e-mail for the kicks. His story was that he had just moved here to take a job hence his cell was in a different area code.

Well, I waited and then hit the bar…met some fun people and even got another date out of it. That didn’t go beyond one date but what the heck…most don’t

By: Cupertino

Cupertino — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 09:05:31 +0000

I’m someone who gets crazy if I’m even five minutes late, so having someone not show up at all would normally push all my buttons.

However, there have been occasions — very few, fortunately — where I completely forgot an appointment or a meeting. Either I never wrote it down, or forgot to look at my schedule, but I was totally embarrassed at having to explain to the other person what I had done.

So when I’ve been on the receiving end, I’ve learned to be more forgiving. Nevertheless, whatever happened, he should be sufficiently apologetic for you to feel okay about setting up another meeting.