Somebody to love

by Dating Goddess on June 7, 2012

When they recorded “Somebody to Love” Jefferson Airplane made famous the sentiment that we all want someone to love:

Don’t you want somebody to love
Don’t you need somebody to love
Wouldn’t you love somebody to love
You better find somebody to love.

For many, loving someone is as important, if not more so, than having someone love them. One assumes that love is reciprocal, but of course, it’s not always.

I read the heartache in online profiles. Headlines like “Lonely One” or “Looking for someone to pamper.” Their essays share how they’d like someone to spoil. They’re communicating their need to share their love.

Some come across desperate. However, I understand the desire to make someone happy through loving actions. Often we get more back than we give when we go out of our way to make someone else’s day.

When we’ve gone too long without a special person to shower with our affection, it becomes pent up. I’ve been on the receiving end of too much attention and affection too soon — after a date or two. I’m guessing that I, too, erred on the smothering side early on in my dating adventure.

Some people relieve this bottled-up emotion by embracing a pet, child, friends or relatives. I have one long-single, midlife gal pal who treats her cat like her child, even insisting her guests watch his new tricks and focusing the conversation back to him whenever he does something she considers noteworthy. Her Facebook updates are full of pictures and comments about him.

What about you — do you feel you have a craving for someone to love? Isn’t that why we date — we want someone special to love and be loved by?
_______________

I was interviewed on Outreach Today, along with two other dating experts. Mine starts about 25 minutes into the recording if you want to skip ahead.
http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/62197/online-offline-navigating-through-the-dating-game-with-dignity

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

SDL June 7, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Wow……
I truly thought I was a bit strange that way, as I like doing nice things for people I care about far more than having them done for me!

And yes, the reward from being loving, supportive, and fulfilling someone’s needs is very large indeed.

It IS nice to be appreciated and thanked for your actions, etc, but it is deeply satisfying in and of itself.

And, yes, there is a HUGE risk in myself for jumping the gun, as the impulse to help if I know I can is very strong- even with new friends or similar, not just. Romantic possibilities…

Kevin Pitersen June 9, 2012 at 10:08 am

Hi Dating Goddess,
Love is one of the best heavenly treasure which should have all.
Thanks and have a nice day.

VT June 18, 2012 at 11:10 am

It’s nice to hear compliments from your significant other or someone you just started a relationship. Keeps the romance flowing!!! If there are any inconstant or pauses…that feeling might pass :(

GD September 8, 2012 at 10:26 am

“Don’t you want somebody to love
Don’t you need somebody to love
Wouldn’t you love somebody to love
You better find somebody to love.”
Oh that’s great! Thanks for your nice post

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