Skanks-R-Us

by Dating Goddess on June 1, 2008

You’ve been dating for a while. You’ve had lots of first dates that didn’t evolve to seconds. So your dating numbers seem high to those who’ve been out of the dating scene for years. To them any number over 10 seems outrageous if you exclude anything before age 30.

They assume you are a skank. Yesterday, at lunch with a group of women I barely knew, a woman asked, “Of those you’ve dated since your divorce, how many have you slept with?” I didn’t tell, as it was none of her business, but she’d be surprised at the tiny number.

But people think that because you have gone out with a lot of people that means you have also slept with a lot of people. “Dating” means “sex” to them, and it appears they think indiscriminate sex, easy sex, or promiscuousness. In other words, you’re a skank.

I know some women fall into bed easily. That is their choice. I am taken aback, however, at the assumption by people who don’t even know me that I fall into that category. It really says more about them that they would determine my skankiness having no information about me or my discernment.

So how do you deal with nosy or assumptive people speculating about your morals and behavior? Mostly, just ignore them, or if you prefer to be more forthright, say “It’s really none of your business.” But if you want to be clear, polite and make your point, simply say, “Many fewer than you’d imagine.”

What has worked for you when people assume you are a skank?

Got a topic on dating after 40 you want Dating Goddess to address? Send your issue to Goddess@DatingGoddess.com.

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