When men and women are in the thick of earning a living, especially when they are traveling a lot, it is unreasonable to have a lot of contact. I know there are the mythical “ideal” couples that talk to each other every day and twice on Sunday, but in the real world, contact gaps are going to happen and if a woman treats contact gaps as a sign the man “doesn’t care enough” then she is ALWAYS going to be disappointed.

I really love my GF, but we have to live 400 miles away from each other and I also travel a lot. I know that communication is important (more so for women than men), so we try to email as much as possible and talk when we can and the the time zones let us, but when I am wiped out going from US to Asia and all day meetings, I guarantee that even the emails are going to be few and far between. Fortunately my GF knows I love her and tolerates the gaps especially when I remind her ahead of time what a business trip to Asia is like. Emotionally, she doesn’t like it when I “disappear” for a week or so, but intellectually she understands and can usually calm her emotions.

So basically I am saying understand why the communication gaps and cut the guy some slack if there are plausible reason. If a woman requires fairly constant communication to feel “loved” she should make sure the guy knows this in plain language from the git go and if he can’t make that happen she should move on. Caution: expecting constant communication may prevent you from having a relationship with lots of guys.

I agree 110% with your assessment of the situation and how to deal with it. As a wise and knowing friend once told me: “Communication and compromise must be present from the get go for a relationship to have a chance of working out long term, everything else is usually negotiable.”

I also agree with your advice to spell things out in concrete terms, as most of the men I know deal with concretes and specifics much better than abstractions; (i.e, “let’s see each other once or twice a week,” rather than “let’s see more of each other.”) IMHO, the fewer grey areas at the start of a relationship, the better the chances of assessing the relationship’s current value and potential promise, or, alternately, in breaking off the relationship without investing too much time and emotional energy in a partner who, for whatever reason, doesn’t see things the way you do.

Good luck to AG and to all of us who are in search of the right partner with whom to build our lives and share our dreams.

Hugs from bookyone