Sometimes it comes down to personal issues that might seem shallow and the person will not want to share it(income level, intimate or romantic style, or such). That is when the answers to “What went wrong?” get vague or misleading answers.

And if someone wanted a short range or transitional relationship but presented themself as wanting something else, then there will be no good answer coming it seems.

If the reason is actually an issue that can be gracefully discussed then an answer is possible. If I want to know and if I know a friend of theirs then that can eventually be the source.

It was some stuff he’d forgotten, not purposefully left, like a CD. We parted on friendly terms and I was going to be in his area, so offered to drop them off. No big deal. I wanted them out of my house and didn’t feel right demanding he come get them when I was going to be around the corner from him. He’s a nice guy, and we still stay in touch, so there was no need to be a hard nose about it.

But I think what I really got hung up on was the part where you “arranged to return some of his belongings”. After a 5-7 week relationship he already had “belongings” at your place? That’s something that women usually do, leave belongings at his place too soon. At least I think it is too soon when you’ve only been seeing each other for 5-7 weeks. Plus I would have left it to him to pick up his stuff in a timely manner or I would donate it to charity.

1. He did like me a lot (always nice to confirm this!). 2. He tends to be seen as cold in relationships, (! wasn’t imagining!) 3. I did scare him a bit by showing him my list detailing the type of relationship I wante (helpful, won’t do this again that soon!) 4. I did seriously disappoint him with my actions re. Val. Day, (check the old blogs, you’ll see!) 5. He understood my need to protect myself against getting hurt, and the part his “coldness” may have played… (nice to have someone acknowledge the part they played…) 6 He felt I had not been out of my divorce long enough, wishes we’d met in 6 months. (this was very he;pful)

And so on - there were at least 5 more items that have really helped me understand myself and relationships better, and prompted me to since throw out all my rules! So, DG, this can work and be a great tool for growth.

Truthfully, no, I don’t want feedback from a guy about why he’s breaking up with me. IMHO, if he doesn’t think enough of me to stick around, then I sure don’t want to hear his lame excuses about why it can’t work and most of all I don’t ever want to hear that corny “let’s just be friends” speech again.

Anyhow, I’m fairly sure I know why all of my previous relationships ended, they all dumped me for someone else, usually someone younger and always, always someone prettier. I firmly believe, no matter what they say to the contrary to sound politically correct, (and win brownie points with women for said correctness), that men will only stay in relationships with women they find physically attractive, (which means I’m most likely out of luck when it comes to finding a partner, but since I’ve recently gone online with a dating profile, I guess I figure one more kick in the head won’t hurt. Heck, my health insurance is all paid up)…
Best wishes from bookyone