Royal wedding — good or bad for midlife daters?

by Dating Goddess on May 2, 2011

Pin-the-crown-on-the-princess game at Royal Wedding party

I’ve just returned from the royal wedding. Well, not the wedding itself, as my invitation must have gotten lost in the post. However, I let it be known to my British friends that I was available for anyone’s plus one. I would have dashed out and bought a fascinator!

I was in London for a few days right before the wedding but decided not to fight the crowds for a 10-second view of the procession so went to a friend’s house an hour outside London. We watched it on the telly then went to two royal wedding parties.

Bar maids dressed for the Royal Wedding party at local pub

While I watched, I was as entranced along with millions of other viewers. I pondered the allure. Two good-looking, young, rich people were allowing the world to watch one of the most important moments of their lives. The “costumes” of both the wedding party and guests made for entertaining television. The horsemen, guards and carriages were the height of pomp. Everything ran smoothly — nearly perfectly.

Surprisingly, princesses were hard to find

Women (mostly) were enraptured by the whole process. The London papers were filled with front-page detail for the week before and days afterward. What was so beguiling for my ilk — midlife women? And was it good for us single women — or bad?

The wedding symbolized what we long for — a real-life fairy tale (is that an oxymoron?) where love conquers all. A prince falls for a commoner (never mind that this commoner’s family is worth millions). He breaks from long tradition to marry the woman he loves. This gives us hope that we, too, will find an exceptional man who wants to scoop us up.

Kate waited for him to be ready — for eight years. There has been no mention of her wanting to wait as well — only that she waited. This again gives us hope that love may develop over time — that it’s not a whirlwind.

Boy dressed for local Royal Wedding celebration

The bad is that we may hold out for such high criteria that we miss out on the everyday princes (or, I prefer, kings) — ones who treat us like queens, no matter what their economic standing. Some women are insistent that their man be tall, fit, handsome, well-mannered, educated and have all his hair. (Kate, luckily, wasn’t staunch about the latter.) We may insist that he has the ability to lavish us with expensive gifts, and whisk us away to our honeymoon on a helicopter.

So is the royal wedding good or bad for us midlife daters? I think if we are able to keep our expectations in check, it is good. Romance, generally, is.

What’s your opinion on if it is good or bad for us? Why?

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Christina May 3, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Interesting question! I think it can be both, depending upon your perspective. I think the wedding and preceding love story was encouraging for those of us who do believe in true love, and in holding out for the right one.

On the downside, it feeds into the whole fairytale prince/princess myth that seems to be so damaging to many relationships. One or both parties have a completely unrealistic vision of what a relationship really is, and are never quite satisfied with reality.

I think it does help that both Will and Kate seem like mature people with both feet planted firmly on the ground. It would be great if everyone could emulate that!

Mitsy May 20, 2011 at 11:27 am

I agree w/a lot that Christina has said. With Will & Kate, I think they have the benefit of having dated for many years BEFORE tying the knot which is more than we can say for his Mother & Dad who divorced before her tragic death.

Realistically, anyone can put on the show for a huge wedding with all the bells & whistles they want (provided they can pay for it or are willing to go into major debt to do so). But, having that kind of wedding doesn’t equal a happy marriage. Some of the longest marriages in society have been very small affairs or even with the Justice of the Peace. It depends more on the people marrying. I think if you marry in your 20′s, the odds for divorce are greater than if you had waited until your 30′s (or even later).

I know I’m not the person today at 50 that I was in my 20′s or even my 30′s. While marriage is not on my horizon, if it did happen, I would hope that I would know more about what I wanted and didn’t want in a marriage partner. When you are in your 20′s, you still have a lot to learn about yourself & about life in general. William & Kate at least are a bit older & more mature than the 20-something’s. I hope their marriage works & lasts for many years.

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