Rekindling a school-days sweetheart

by Dating Goddess on September 9, 2010

Have you ever daydreamed about an old sweetheart from decades ago? What’s he up to now? Is he single? What’s he look like? If you connected, would the spark still be there?

My cousin reconnected with his high school love during their 40th reunion. They had remained close after they broke up in high school, even being in the wedding party for each other’s first marriages! They had lost touch and hit it off again instantly at the reunion. Both were single again. She said she’d love to keep in touch, so he called the next week. The 10-hour drive didn’t keep them apart. He began to woo her and a year later, they were married.

Years ago, when I was married, I got a call from a man I lived with for a year right out of college. He sounded just as stoned as he generally was when we were together, but he was 40 when he called, divorced and with a child. I had no interest in seeing him again.

I also heard from a college sweetheart about a decade ago. He is 8 years older than me, but when he sent his picture, I didn’t recognize him. He looked so old! Solid gray hair and beard, significant weight gain. I wondered what he’d think of how his 21-year-old love had turned out.

A man I had a crush on in high school recently looked at my profile on Match.com. He’s still good looking and has a successful business. I waited a few days and since he didn’t connect, I sent him a friendly, “let’s catch up” email. He responded, but no overture to get together. He’s looked at my profile several times since, but I won’t be initiating contact again. I remember him as a good guy with an easy smile. I am curious to see if he has the same solid character he did as a teenager.

Have you considered rekindling a relationship with a high school or college sweetie? Have you ever actually met with someone you went with then? If so, what happened?

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Aplus September 10, 2010 at 3:35 am

I actually met someone on fb, and I am so glad it just stayed there, for the guy was still so inlove with himself after 20 years, I guess some people just never change.

Rdowlin September 10, 2010 at 11:15 am

Started writing an old high school friend last August. He told me he had been separated for almost 2 years. Our e-mails were friendly and light. We finally started talking on the phone in early February 2010 and would talk for hours every day. We met up on the 17th when he was driving through my town. We became romantically involved and continued to see each when we could. He said he wanted to move to my town, he was currently living in Austin. We rented a house together 3 months later. We talked every day for usually an hour, went on a few vacations, he came for a month and I spent time in Austin. Anytime we were together his soon to be ex was a pain called and texted him all the time. I thought she just didn’t want to let go just to stay married in name only. She didn’t know he had been writing me or coming to see me. They weren’t separated at all when he met with me. He continued to live with her until May when he finally filed for a divorce. He lied about it that too. Said it was just a matter of paperwork….she is fighting the whole thing. Lastly, he started cheating on me in August with a woman young enough to be his daughter. This past weekend I found out he has been lying to all of us.
Not only am I emotionally hurt, but now I am financially committed to a house I can’t afford on my own and mentally wounded. I trusted this man, thinking I knew him. So ladies please be careful. I was happy and financially solid before he came in my life. Now I’m in pain and feel like a fool.

seilidhe September 10, 2010 at 12:48 pm

I can think of three things that stand out:

While trying to contact classmates for our 30th reunion, I found myself chatting on the phone with a guy I’d had a crush on all those years ago. We got to the point where we went out a couple of times and talked to each other daily, and then he suddenly stopped talking to me. I tried a couple of times, and eventually he responded to an IM and told me he thought we should stopped seeing/talking to each other.

When I was trying, once more, to get contact information for our 35th reunion, I got an email from a classmate in which he admitted to having a thing for me in school, which blew me away because I’d always considered myself unremarkable and, basically, unnoticed by anybody. We met for coffee where the man in question spent 99% of the hour we were together talking about his last relationship.

The final instance that comes to mind is, to me, the more poignant. A classmate passed away this past summer. When we were seniors, the weekend before we graduated, we were at the same party. We’d been drinking and he’d said some things to me… sweet things that made me wonder “what if?” On the following Monday, he apologized for everything he’d said. Although it saddened me, it didn’t really surprise me. At my friend’s funeral, two mutual friends informed me that the guy had been madly in love with me and had been heartbroken when I’d gotten married. I didn’t believe them at first, but they managed to convince me they spoke the truth. That “what if?” feeling I’d had in our senior year, and which had reoccurred at times over the intervening years, came back again. This time it was tinged with a far greater sorrow than it had ever been before. How might our lives have been different if, instead of apologizing, he’d asked me out? Maybe not much different at all, but maybe we missed out on something special. Then again, maybe it was just never meant to be. Regardless of how things might have been, sometimes “what ifs” can break your heart.

Sorry this is so long….

Anna September 12, 2010 at 12:40 pm

Recently my Mom mentioned that the guy I had a major crush for in high school was playing Bridge in her bridge club. My heart started to race as I remembered this gorgeous guy and his wavy, dark, sexy hair. I thought she was doing what she always does, trying to set me up and get me “settled”. Ok, I think, fair enough, I’m in if he is even half as sexy as he was back then. She then went on to tell me that he is a fantastic bridge player and himself and his life partner Gary have been playing together for years…….literally. :)

healy September 15, 2010 at 11:25 pm

for me sometimes love is undying. I met someone and he’s still my BF now. I love him but when I saw my first love, OMG! there’s still something in him that captures me. I am such a bad girl. Hope I can get out with this one, help me oh God:(

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