In response to a friend asking how I was doing, I told him of my most recent breakup experience — how cavalierly and insensitively my now-ex beau communicated his decision. I told my friend that despite my focusing on all the ways this man treated me disrespectfully, I was having a heck of a time moving on.
A past beau called the little chores he did for me around my house “honey dues” and implied they were the dues men paid to make their woman happy.
I’ve generally thought it was sweet and loving when a man offered or agreed to help with small household jobs that I either couldn’t do alone or didn’t have the expertise to accomplish. Usually I call a handyman when I need help, but often a beau has offered assistance.
Honey do’s can be simple household maintenance acts via which a man shows his caring for you. A man replaced my leaking kitchen sink faucet to one with more features and no drips, for which I am appreciative every day. Another consolidated my audio equipment into a home entertainment center, which I love. Both men are gone from my life, but their thoughtful deeds live on and remind me of their kindnesses.
But sometimes I’ve paid more dearly to have my man’s help than to pay my handyman.
You’ve been dating a man for 2 months. There have been some issues to work out, but generally you really like the man. A discussion of exclusivity comes up. You each share what you need from a relationship to be exclusive and the other agrees to try to provide it, or if you know you can’t make meet a need, you say so. You both decide you’d really like to focus on each other and not date others. You agree to only see each other and remove your profiles from any dating sites.
A few weeks pass and your man is making some attempts to provide what you say you need, but the effort is inconsistent. You rack it up to he’s trying and you don’t expect perfection. But you aren’t consistently getting enough of what you want and you’re feeling disappointed.
On a first date, a man asked if I was a glass-half-full or half-empty kind of gal. Although a tad trite, no one else had asked directly if I was optimistic or pessimistic. I wondered who would admit to the latter, although I know some are attracted to others who share a negative world view.
I am drawn to positive people, those who aren’t stopped by obstacles, but look for ways around them. People who don’t focus on what’s missing as long as what is present brings you satisfaction.
A man I dated for a while expressed his attraction to me in an interesting way: “You have whip appeal.”
Huh? I’ve heard of men being “whipped” by their woman, and it is not a thing most men would admit to. In fact, a man’s pals may tease him about being “whipped” if he seems too besotted by his woman.
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