New guy

The beginning of getting to know someone is both energizing and frightening. The energy comes from enjoying the conversation and fantasizing about what could be.

The frightening part comes from remembering past first encounters that didn’t result in a second. If you found the man appealing and wanted to see him again but he felt otherwise, the rejection stings.

So it is with a measured attitude I step into exploring a new man. He’s been wonderful during our two calls and dozen emails. I like his sense of humor, his humility, and what I can tell of his life view. But I’ve gone down this road before, initially being enamored until we meet. Then his behaviors or comments shift and I am left disappointed.

Yet, this is the dance of online dating. You communicate a bit at first, then you meet. If the meeting goes well, there’s more communication and other meetings. He lets his true personality come out and you either like it or don’t. And you end it. Or he ends it.

And you start again, hopefully wiser. You learn to not get so excited before first meeting and are leary of a man who touts his fondness for you before ever seeing you.

If you’re like me, your dating frequency tapers off as you learn to tell the signs of a mismatch even before meeting. You go about your life and yet still yearn to have someone special in your life.

Yet as you go longer between first dates, you feel both a little rusty and relaxed. You know what you bring to the table, yet feel like you’re not in the zone as you are when you are regularly meeting new guys. But it’s OK because you’re able to be authentic.

So tomorrow I meet the new guy. He sounds interesting on the phone. Keep your fingers crossed that we both like the encounter.
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