Comments on: My gay “boyfriend” http://www.datinggoddess.com/my-gay-boyfriend/ Dating-over-40 advice by the Dating Goddess™ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:14:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Mark http://www.datinggoddess.com/my-gay-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-22522 Mark Tue, 09 Jun 2009 06:12:35 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=2808#comment-22522 It's nice to be polite towards women, but the whole deferential thing is a bit troubling. I want an equal partnership between two people. I'll get the door when I can, but your arms aren't broken, are they? I can't be gallant 100% of the time, especially when we've been together for some time. Likewise, I don't expect a woman to be coy and flirtatious all the time. I'd rather she let her hair down and just be who she is. It’s nice to be polite towards women, but the whole deferential thing is a bit troubling. I want an equal partnership between two people. I’ll get the door when I can, but your arms aren’t broken, are they? I can’t be gallant 100% of the time, especially when we’ve been together for some time. Likewise, I don’t expect a woman to be coy and flirtatious all the time. I’d rather she let her hair down and just be who she is.

]]> By: Mitsy http://www.datinggoddess.com/my-gay-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-22425 Mitsy Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:33:46 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=2808#comment-22425 I don't think anyone is saying to "not consider the benefits of heterosexual men". I mean I don't think any of us actually want to date a gay man BUT the point being that many straight guys could learn a lot from a gay guy as to how to treat women. It isn't hard to grasp that concept so therefore the "comparison" is valid! I don’t think anyone is saying to “not consider the benefits of heterosexual men”. I mean I don’t think any of us actually want to date a gay man BUT the point being that many straight guys could learn a lot from a gay guy as to how to treat women. It isn’t hard to grasp that concept so therefore the “comparison” is valid!

]]> By: Victoria http://www.datinggoddess.com/my-gay-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-22408 Victoria Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:24:54 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=2808#comment-22408 I've never fallen for any of my gay "boyfriends", but they have made things more difficult for the straight men I date. Basically, thanks to these gay guys, my standards for a life partner / husband are really high. I'm 41, never married, and date LOTS of LOTS of men, and have fun with it. However, for any of the men I date to have even a slight chance at serious commitment from me, they better pay attention to the gay fellows and get their acts together! I’ve never fallen for any of my gay “boyfriends”, but they have made things more difficult for the straight men I date. Basically, thanks to these gay guys, my standards for a life partner / husband are really high. I’m 41, never married, and date LOTS of LOTS of men, and have fun with it. However, for any of the men I date to have even a slight chance at serious commitment from me, they better pay attention to the gay fellows and get their acts together!

]]> By: Ronnie Ann Ryan - The Dating Coach http://www.datinggoddess.com/my-gay-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-22349 Ronnie Ann Ryan - The Dating Coach Sun, 31 May 2009 22:50:49 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=2808#comment-22349 On my journey to find love, I started back to contact iwth men with a gay friendship. Same as you have all said, he was the best friend I ever had. He would do anything to help and support me emotionally. He helped me to appreciate men again. I can't help but feel that expecting heterosexual men to behave like gay men is somewhat counter productive. After all, gay men aren't hetero. So why compare? It might be more helpful to consider the benefits of heterossexual men and go from there. Every time you compare or expect something else, you tend to widen the rift between you and the right man for you. On my journey to find love, I started back to contact iwth men with a gay friendship. Same as you have all said, he was the best friend I ever had. He would do anything to help and support me emotionally. He helped me to appreciate men again.

I can’t help but feel that expecting heterosexual men to behave like gay men is somewhat counter productive. After all, gay men aren’t hetero. So why compare?

It might be more helpful to consider the benefits of heterossexual men and go from there. Every time you compare or expect something else, you tend to widen the rift between you and the right man for you.

]]> By: Catherine http://www.datinggoddess.com/my-gay-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-22328 Catherine Sat, 30 May 2009 19:53:43 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=2808#comment-22328 Once again the Dating Goddess is on target with her comments. I have utilized gay friends as escorts to various social events, and they were exceptional companions. Right now I have a guy friend that I suspect is gay but isn't "out" yet (too bad because he is over 40 and really should live an authentic life) and we attend concerts and parties together having a great time. If only we could clone the attentiveness and caring of a gay man on to a straight man, then life would be perfect :) Once again the Dating Goddess is on target with her comments. I have utilized gay friends as escorts to various social events, and they were exceptional companions. Right now I have a guy friend that I suspect is gay but isn’t “out” yet (too bad because he is over 40 and really should live an authentic life) and we attend concerts and parties together having a great time. If only we could clone the attentiveness and caring of a gay man on to a straight man, then life would be perfect :)

]]> By: *Juliette* http://www.datinggoddess.com/my-gay-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-22314 *Juliette* Sat, 30 May 2009 01:43:51 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=2808#comment-22314 My boyfriend in High School was gay too. We went to the prom together and I knew in my heart he wasn't heterosexual, but he didn't come out until after college. Sadly, he passed away 15 years ago, and I miss him almost every day. I guess I'm spoiled by his friendship, because no other man has ever measured up to the way he treated me and made me feel, neither my brothers or the man I was married to for 21 years. Thanks for the great post. My boyfriend in High School was gay too. We went to the prom together and I knew in my heart he wasn’t heterosexual, but he didn’t come out until after college. Sadly, he passed away 15 years ago, and I miss him almost every day. I guess I’m spoiled by his friendship, because no other man has ever measured up to the way he treated me and made me feel, neither my brothers or the man I was married to for 21 years. Thanks for the great post.

]]> By: Mitsy http://www.datinggoddess.com/my-gay-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-22274 Mitsy Thu, 28 May 2009 15:10:22 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=2808#comment-22274 Gay guys know more how to treat a woman than most heterosexual men do. There used to be a show on called "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". I never got to see this show personally, but my sister did and she said it was great. The best advice a straight guy could get on women would be from a gay man because they know more of how women think & how they want to be treated. They also have the advantage of knowing how most men think and react as well to certain situations. I've had my share of gay guy friends over the years. They are usually better friends than some of my women pals. Gay guys know more how to treat a woman than most heterosexual men do. There used to be a show on called “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”. I never got to see this show personally, but my sister did and she said it was great. The best advice a straight guy could get on women would be from a gay man because they know more of how women think & how they want to be treated. They also have the advantage of knowing how most men think and react as well to certain situations. I’ve had my share of gay guy friends over the years. They are usually better friends than some of my women pals.

]]> By: Samantha http://www.datinggoddess.com/my-gay-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-22268 Samantha Thu, 28 May 2009 05:57:00 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=2808#comment-22268 I'm 51 now, and have a gay boyfriend whom I've known since high school... several years ago, I let go of his arm as we walked in Disneyland. I later told him it was too hard for me to hold on to his arm sometimes. I told him I noticed how easily I could become attracted to him, so it was best that I kept my distance physically sometimes. He understood completely and replied, "I know." He came out right after high school, explaining to me "if I were going to try it with a female, it would be with you." One of those moments in life that we all have that I personally won't ever forget. I’m 51 now, and have a gay boyfriend whom I’ve known since high school… several years ago, I let go of his arm as we walked in Disneyland. I later told him it was too hard for me to hold on to his arm sometimes. I told him I noticed how easily I could become attracted to him, so it was best that I kept my distance physically sometimes. He understood completely and replied, “I know.” He came out right after high school, explaining to me “if I were going to try it with a female, it would be with you.” One of those moments in life that we all have that I personally won’t ever forget.

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