“It’s not my job”

by Dating Goddess on August 8, 2012

It seems that when I gather with one or more single gal pals, the subject soon turns to dating. Today’s gathering was no different.

This conversation centered around a pal who’d recently lost 100 pounds and felt she was ready to re-enter the dating scene. She had new-found confidence and was anxious to find love.

A bit too anxious.

She disclosed that she’d been buying boxes of condoms so she’d be prepared if the opportunity presented itself for a roll in the hay. But then she’d toss out each box as it reached its expiration date. Then she’d get a little depressed at the realization she’d not yet met anyone to romp with.

I asked her why she felt compelled to keep buying condoms.

She said she wanted to be ready.

Just moments before she’d shared that she tells her single gal pals to never shave their legs for a first date so they won’t be tempted to jump in the sack so soon.

I asked her if having a gross of condoms wasn’t being ready too soon? After all, if you begin dating someone and want to have sex, you’d have time to buy protection. Or he could go to the store. Or — most importantly — he would supply the condom.

She seemed shocked at this idea that the man would take care of the condom.

She stuttered, “You’re right. It’s really not my job — not my responsibility — to provide the condom.”

“Exactly. In fact, if you pull out a box of condoms in front of him, it would signal that you are easy and prepared for lots of sex with virtual strangers.”

“I see what you’re saying.”

“Besides,” I continued, “they come in different sizes. You wouldn’t want him to be embarrassed if it was too big. Or have it rip if it’s too small.” I smiled.

She vowed she’d go home and throw out her stash.

While I believe protection is both parties’ responsibility, you can take care of your part by just standing by the “no glove, no love” rule. If he wants to bed you, he will come prepared. If not, he needs to take care of it or no romping. You’re better than someone who’s so desperate for love that you provide everything.

What’s your experience with being prepared for too-soon sex?

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sex and dating after 40Want to understand more about what you might face with situations around sex and dating? Get your copy of From Fear to Frolic: Get Naked Without Getting Embarrassed.

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