Blathering. Babbling. Rambling.
You hog the air time. Instead of it being a dialog, it’s a monologue. You go on and on, barely taking a breath, not allowing the other to interject anything but “uh huh.” You don’t ask a question.
You lose the opportunity to get to know a potentially great mate.
You lose his attention, both short and long term. If it’s on the phone, he will start checking email, texting others, or watching TV. Or maybe all of the above.
It’s sad, as you have no idea why you aren’t getting any dates — or maybe get first dates but then you bore the guy to tears so you aren’t getting second dates.
You may even be a little self-aware and after an hour of droning on you say, “I’ve been monopolizing the conversation” but you do little to rein in your motormouthing.
I just had a second call from someone who prattles. He seems like a nice enough guy, but he went on and on for an hour and ignored my attempts to contribute to the conversation. The more this continued, the less interested I became in meeting him. I finally had to make up an excuse to get off the phone because I found myself doing other things since it really didn’t matter if I was listening or not -— he was just going on about what interested him.
I wish there were a way to politely signal to someone that they are yammering, but I’ve not found a way to do this. And even if someone becomes aware of their jabbering, I’ve found few people who have the self-awareness and discipline to shift this bad habit.
And they have no idea what it’s costing them. It not only costs you dates and a relationship with a great guy (unless he’s hard of hearing, extremely patient, or doesn’t mind the non-stop chatter), but it also costs friends and could even affect promotions at work.
Have you dated a prattler? If so, how did you make him aware of his bad habit? Was he able to cut down his incessant monologue? If you are the guilty one, have you been able to become aware of this off-putting habit and make changes? How?
Want to avoid dates you regret? Get your copy of Check Him Out Before Going Out: Head Off Dud Dates.