“I’ll be the best you ever had”

by Dating Goddess on December 17, 2012

John LegendAs much as I love John Legend, his “Tonight” lyric is indicative of men who over promise and under deliver. If a man brags about his prowess in kissing or sex, you can bet you will be disappointed.

When a man’s online profile claims he’s a great kisser — or more — I immediately sever contact. My experience has proven a man is delusional who brags about any exceptional talent or endowment in a sexual arena. Even if a man doesn’t put his adeptness in writing but shares it verbally, my red flag warning signal goes into action. Hubris does not bode well.

Before I knew better, I’d actually believe a man’s declarations as fact. Only when I was disappointed time and time again, did I figure out the truth — men who are actually stellar at these acts don’t need to boast about it. If they crow, there is a problem. Seems common sense now, but at the time I hadn’t cracked the code.

Not only should you be on guard at anyone who asserts some out-of-the-ordinary finesse, but you should monitor your own profile and verbiage to ensure you aren’t making similar claims. If you declare out-of-the-world kissing skills, you’ll attract a lot of men who want to test you, whether you want to be kissed by them or not.

However, sharing a love of kissing is different than saying you can tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue. A date once asked me if I liked to kiss. I said, “Yes, I love good kissing.” The distinction helped him see that I didn’t like just any kind of kissing — there had to be a quality to it.

What’s your experience with those who declare their extraordinariness in this area? Is it a turn off or turn on? Have you been disappointed more often than pleased?


Dating After 40If you’d like to understand more about what to look for before even going out with a man, get your copy of Check Him Out Before Going Out: Head Off Dud Dates,


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