I want to date his family

by Dating Goddess on June 1, 2011

It’s a bit awkward when someone you’re newly getting to know invites you to a casual family event and you end up hitting it off with his family much more than you do with him!

This happened to me this weekend. My new activity partner (AP) and I had agreed to see a movie. He called at noon to see if I’d like to have a bite to eat beforehand. “Sure” I responded. Then he added, “We’ll go to my brother’s for a BBQ, then we can go to the movie.”

“Hmmm” I thought. “We’re only activity partners, not really dating, and we’ve only seen each other 3 times before. It’s kinda early to be meeting his family. But what the heck, maybe it’s a party and I’m his plus one.”

It was not a party. It was just the four of us.

I hit it off immediately with his brother and sister-in-law. Especially the brother. He was tall, good looking, smart, funny and closer to my age and temperament than my activity partner. But he was married. How I wished he wasn’t — I’d be flirting up a storm.

His sister-in-law was sweet. But the contrast between the two of them and my AP was jarring. He is a sweet man, but he repeats himself and only talks about what he did on his job — from which he retired 8 years ago.

By the end of the afternoon, I restrained myself from suggesting we all go to a movie together. Asking for a second “date” seemed presumptive. So we’ll see if my AP comes up with this on his own.

Have you experienced liking your date’s friends or family better than him? Tell us your story.
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Are there signs you should move a man into the activity partner or friend zone? Find out in Real Deal or Faux Beau: Should You Keep Seeing Him?

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Christina June 3, 2011 at 3:59 am

Hah! That was at least half the reason I married my late husband. I just adored his parents and sister. Even though I had some doubts about the marriage (and I couldn’t even imagine how bad things could be at the time), I just couldn’t see cutting myself off from his family. Four years after his death, I’m engaged to someone else, but still very close to his parents.

Considering how often there’s conflict with a partner’s family, have a great relationship with them is wonderful!

Darren Miller June 11, 2011 at 6:39 am

Hey Dating Goodness.

My aunties and uncles have never been the type of people I wouldnt introduce partners to as they are obnoxious but in an emergency my girlfriend and I had to turn to my auntie. My girlfriend made the wrong decision to wear tight, short hot pants and a crop top.

As soon as we reached my aunts house, everyone was drinking. My uncle was all over my girlfriend like a rash and my aunty was giving sly comments. To be in a room with my family you have to have a huge personality. But in the end my family got on okay with her and vice versa, she held her ground and at that point I knew she was the one.

Mitsy June 13, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Maybe it’s just me, but I would prefer to NOT meet any of his family unless he plans to keep me around & the feeling is mutual. To me, when a guy introduces you to his family, it means he’s serious about you (or should be in my mind). That hasn’t always been the case though. :0

Jennifer June 16, 2011 at 6:08 pm

I know where you are coming from my husbands family is so amazing but then again so is my husband. I can say this though sometimes I do like them more than him. =)

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