Ooh, that sucks! Please allow me to join your other online friends in offering my sympathy and the occasional bottle rocket, should the latter become necessary.

It’s for the reasons stated above by earlier posters, (too many players, skunks and BS artists, etc., et al), that I’ve given up on finding love online, although, like yourself, I’ve made some lovely friends, both male and female, whose virtual company I really enjoy. IMHO, life’s too short to put up with losers; thank goodness this guy showed his true (yellow) color when he did and didn’t waste any more of your valuable time and generous nature, which gives you more time to spend on the good ones.

BIG hug from bookyone

If a man isn’t wanting to pursue anything further with a woman, he owes it to her to be honest. If not, he can get comfortable wearing the “Player” label because that is what he is. I don’t care how much a guy doesn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Games like that shouldn’t happen if both people are adults about things.

The very big drawback for all this is the invention of dating sites, myspace pages, and other tracking venues that make it even worse for someone who feels like they’ve been ditched. For Goddesses’ situation, I’d say it was a tip-off that the guy said his ex-gf was not happy about him having a new woman in his life. A decent guy would not continue contact with an ex if they are truly an ex. Secondly, he wouldn’t be stupid enough to tell someone he’s dating such a thing if he really wanted things to work out with the current woman. That was a red flag that he was waffling on what he wanted…another one of the thousands of confused, cowardly, never content men out there who dodge doing what is right and try to pretend it never happened.

I’ll say what others have said…you can do better. A guy who is this hot/cold isn’t someone you’d want in your life long-term. You could trust him as far as you could throw him.

I am currently learning how to be in a less than perfect relationship, but day by day. This means I have no expectations, and my heart is not involved. I am thankful I have met someone to spend time with once or twice a week, but we are both clear that this will not be a forever relationship. I am learning lots about living in the moment and not worrying about the future, since I am clear that there is none with this man. At least I know exactly where I stand in his priorities and life. It’s kind of antiseptic, but better than nothing.

And thanks for the compliment that you want me to post more often. I’ve stepped it up this week. I just don’t want to write things for the sake of having a posting — I want it to be interesting or entertaining to you readers!

Mike: You are right on! A person who could do this doesn’t have the maturity, integrity, respect and honesty to spend any more time on.

Matt: Thanks for your concern and compliment! I have reactivated myself on a few sites and yes, the guys are queuing up! Of course, most of them live hundreds of miles away, but it always nice to see you are desired, even if I have no interest in ones who aren’t local. (Which, BTW, I say in my profile and they ignore!)

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and sharing your stories of cowards who tell you one thing then days later do something exactly opposite of what they said. Even after all the men I’ve gone out with, my emotions clouded some signs because I wanted so much for this to work out with him. He was so much of what I have been looking for, but I have to have honesty, integrity, respect and communication so no matter what else is part of the package, if those are missing, there’s no match.

While I have never been in your place I usually sense when it is coming. So I usually will ask or at least not surprised when it happens. For me my brother was my bad example. He hated the talk and usually just stopped communication and hoped they got the hint. I always talk to them. Like a splinter it may really hurt for the moment, but the pain quickly fades instead of the festering of something never acknowledged.