Comments on: Have you become exclusive too soon? http://www.datinggoddess.com/have-you-become-exclusive-too-soon/ Dating over 40 advice by the Dating Goddess™ Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:40:38 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Catherine http://www.datinggoddess.com/have-you-become-exclusive-too-soon/comment-page-1/#comment-3595 Catherine Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:58:19 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1347#comment-3595 This sounds like a case of putting the cart before the horse. Why would anyone decide to become exclusive with someone before being assured that all their important needs can and would be met? I know, its that first blush of romance and passion that seems to disconnect our hearts and our brains. This is where friends are very handy. Hopefully you share details of your new love and before you decide to become exclusive can run it by that good friend for an unbiased second opinion from someone who isn't addled by oxytocin. I have had this very discussion with one of my long term friends, and help remind her that there are things that are ok to compromise on and things that are not. She has been able to release some "nice" but not the right fit men back into the dating pool for other women to find. It is nice to see the "system" work for some people. This sounds like a case of putting the cart before the horse. Why would anyone decide to become exclusive with someone before being assured that all their important needs can and would be met? I know, its that first blush of romance and passion that seems to disconnect our hearts and our brains. This is where friends are very handy. Hopefully you share details of your new love and before you decide to become exclusive can run it by that good friend for an unbiased second opinion from someone who isn’t addled by oxytocin.

I have had this very discussion with one of my long term friends, and help remind her that there are things that are ok to compromise on and things that are not. She has been able to release some “nice” but not the right fit men back into the dating pool for other women to find. It is nice to see the “system” work for some people.

]]> By: Mike http://www.datinggoddess.com/have-you-become-exclusive-too-soon/comment-page-1/#comment-3588 Mike Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:41:02 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1347#comment-3588 For me the exclusivity is totally secondary. If your not giving me what I need and not attempting to change that then "goodbye". For me the exclusivity is totally secondary. If your not giving me what I need and not attempting to change that then “goodbye”.

]]> By: Loving Annie http://www.datinggoddess.com/have-you-become-exclusive-too-soon/comment-page-1/#comment-3587 Loving Annie Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:39:50 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1347#comment-3587 Good conclusion. Actions speak even louder than words. Consistent actions over time. Good point. Why become 'exclusive' if either party isn't really meeting your needs ? It just won't work in the long run, and is actually a reason to stop dating them and move on. Good conclusion. Actions speak even louder than words. Consistent actions over time. Good point.
Why become ‘exclusive’ if either party isn’t really meeting your needs ? It just won’t work in the long run, and is actually a reason to stop dating them and move on.

]]> By: NYSharon http://www.datinggoddess.com/have-you-become-exclusive-too-soon/comment-page-1/#comment-3586 NYSharon Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:05:47 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1347#comment-3586 It shouldn't be so hard to feel happy DG. Why do we over analyze these things? I think its hard to go backwards after, however I think in this matter it is necessary to let the other person know that you aren't a doormat. PUlling away is a true way to see if it is meant to be. The couple isn't a good match if one party keeps feeling disappointed. The disappointed party must decide if their needs are important or negociable. HOwever, there is danger of being too accomodating of the others lack of interest in meeting your needs. There is then inbalance--which is bad. It shouldn’t be so hard to feel happy DG. Why do we over analyze these things? I think its hard to go backwards after, however I think in this matter it is necessary to let the other person know that you aren’t a doormat. PUlling away is a true way to see if it is meant to be. The couple isn’t a good match if one party keeps feeling disappointed. The disappointed party must decide if their needs are important or negociable. HOwever, there is danger of being too accomodating of the others lack of interest in meeting your needs. There is then inbalance–which is bad.

]]>