I first found Greg Behrendt’s book after a particularly difficult breakup last year. My girlfriends kept telling me to read it, and I’m glad I did. Some of it was painful to read because it pointed out to me all the things I had been doing wrong in allowing a guy to jerk me around. However, the book also gave me a valuable lesson in self-esteem: no one can treat you badly without your consent. Acknowledging my part in what had happened allowed me to step outside the victim role, and reclaim my value as a beautiful, smart, independent woman.

I am enormously grateful to Greg Behrendt for writing this book. He has given us the guy’s perspective and de-mystified some of the baffling behaviors that women spend hours and hours trying to decode. What a waste of time. As Greg says, men do what makes THEM happy, without worrying about anyone else. Sometimes it really IS that simple! Knowing this has freed me from countless hours of doubt and enabled me to decide whether a man is worthy of ME. Now I ask myself, “does he make ME happy?” If yes, then all is fine. If no, then it’s time to say “NEXT!”

I’ve also read this book and while I do agree with some of the more obvious signs of disinterest Greg discusses, (such as refusing to make even minimal contact, not asking you out again after a first or second date, etc.), I find myself much more in agreement with your reasoning, as it makes allowances (not excuses and, yes, there is a HUGE difference) for the busy and demanding lives many of us lead nowadays. Also, I’ve heard it said, (and some of my male friends have confirmed this), that men tend to focus on one thing/task at a time to its conclusion and then the next, unlike we gals who are generally better at multitasking.

So, the guy who’s too busy to call may be wrapped up in work or sports or another woman or even himself, but we’ll never know unless we ask. Communication, as you said, is the key to figuring out whether he’s really “just not that into us” or whether he has many other demands on his limited space and time.

As always, thanks for writing and sharing your experiences; I learn something new every time I’m here!

Hugs from bookyone