by guest author, Regina Barreca, Ph.D.
We’ve all had The Bad Boyfriend. He’s the one you knew you had to leave. In order to get on with life, we need to put him in perspective. Part of that is acknowledging those things for which we should be grateful to him.
That isn’t easy to do.
I decided to help.
- He taught you that “boredom” is an anagram of “bedroom”;
- He helped you understand the importance of staying away from guys who play the opening chords to “Smoke on the Water” ALL THE TIME, even when they are way past the bassist stage;
- He helped you understand that for some men the phrase “sowing wild oats” actually means “always having a blonde bent over a coffee table”;
- You learned from him that there are insignificant others as well as significant others;
- From him you learned that men fake sleep the way that women fake orgasms: to be left alone already;
- You learned that a truly thoughtful lover would not attempt to arouse you with the subtlety of a chimp trying to dial a rotary phone;
- He taught you that while breaking up might be hard to do, staying in a fundamentally miserable, spiritually chaotic, emotionally unsafe, and unutterably unfulfilling relationship was worse;
- You learned, while being in that relationship, that someone else’s suspicions can erode your own sense of trust and self-worth to the point where you doubt your sanity as well as your integrity;
- Once you ended the relationship, you discovered that you no longer had to hide all your own stuff because he didn’t like it, thereby happily freeing yourself from the “Repressed School of Interior Decoration”;
- All your previous boyfriends — good, bad, and indifferent — helped make you who you are today and who you are today is someone who can have an absolutely fabulous time tomorrow, if only you give yourself a chance.
If you want to know more about how and why to break up maturely, get your copy of Moving On Gracefully: Break Up Without Heartache.