Full disclosure

by Dating Goddess on October 31, 2010

A DG reader shared that he learned his last girlfriend was currently married only after he proposed when she said she was pregnant.

It made me think of what else would be assuring to have someone prove before you got too involved. Of course, it would be considered rude to request the following — at least at the beginning — but it would certainly clarify any questions.

See what you’d add to this list:

  • Driver’s license — I’ve only found out that one man gave me fictitious personal information, but I’ve sometimes wondered if a date was who he said he was. Or was the age he claimed, or lived where he stated. A quick look at his driver’s license would put at rest any doubts.
  • Divorce decree — I’ve had married men tell me they weren’t when asked point blank. Honest people say they are separated when not divorced. Dishonest ones say they are divorced or widowed when they aren’t. Showing a divorce decree would prove their status — unless they’d gotten remarried in the interim.
  • Credit score/tax returns/net worth statement — wouldn’t it be great if you could exchange documentation with your suitor to prove each other’s financial soundness? I’ve been drawn to people who, after investing months in a budding relationship, I learned are financially irresponsible.

Unfortunately, there’s not a document one can produce to show they aren’t a convicted felon, a cheater, or a pathological liar. I’ve dated the latter two and it took a while to figure out.

Of course, there is documentation that can show someone is STD free, but unfortunately few people ask to see it. If it comes up at all, people just say they are and the other accepts it. That’s just stupid. So even when documentation is possible, few ask for it.

What documents would you like to see — if there was actually a way to ask for it without being offensive — that would prove something about someone before you got too involved?

Learn other things you should make sure you know before becoming too involved in the book, Real Deal or Faux Beau: Should You Keep Seeing Him?

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