A reader wrote:
“I am overweight — not morbidly obese but overweight. I mention in my profile that I am a bit overweight. I have yet to progress from one initial email with anyone. I feel as if it is impossible to get a date with anyone when you are overweight — am I wrong? Should I not mention it and lie like everyone else? This is so frustrating.”
First, I’m glad you’re honest in your profile. I’ve met for coffee too many men who listed themselves as “athletic” or “average” when they were 80 pounds overweight. I think honesty is important.
However, you can safely say “a few extra pounds” in your profile and people know that means 10-30 pounds. If you say “big and beautiful” that usually means over 50 pounds extra.
The best way is to post a recent, full-length pic of you in something that is flattering. Many men have a shape they are attracted to, even if that shape has extra padding.
You ask if it’s impossible to get a date with anyone when you’re overweight. I am a living example that you can — in fact, men will not only go out with you, but will find you attractive and sexy. It’s not so much the pounds, but how you dress to play up your strengths and how you stand and walk. If you move with confidence, many will overlook some larger-than-normal curves.
If you don’t know how to do this, make an appointment with a personal shopper in a store that has your size clothing. Tell her you’re starting to date and buy one outfit in which you feel attractive. Also visit the makeup counter and tell the rep you want a new, updated look as you’re starting to date. Tell your hair stylist you want something that makes you look and feel cute and sexy.
Don’t let extra pounds get in the way of your dating life. It hasn’t slowed me down and you don’t have to either.
What have you done to not let something you feel could be a liability get in the way of your dating life?
Need help realizing why you’d be attractive t a man? Get your copy of Assessing Your Assets: Why You’re A Great Catch.