Comments on: Do you let hunky men get away with more? http://www.datinggoddess.com/do-you-let-hunky-men-get-away-with-more/ Dating over 40 advice by the Dating Goddess™ Fri, 12 Mar 2010 19:27:12 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: bookyone http://www.datinggoddess.com/do-you-let-hunky-men-get-away-with-more/comment-page-1/#comment-3557 bookyone Wed, 03 Sep 2008 20:44:12 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1343#comment-3557 Hi DG, IMHO, some men and women who have better than average looks expect to be treated like they're "all that," simply because they've always been spoiled by members of the opposite sex and so they're conditioned to expect star treatment from anyone and everyone who crosses their path, (which I refuse to lavish on anyone, regardless of looks; kindness, yes, slavishness, no way, Jose). My philosophy is simple: I prefer to socialize with the more average looking, down to earth types, as myself; that way friendship is much more likely, even if a romantic relationship isn't necessarily in the offing. Hugs from bookyone :) Hi DG,

IMHO, some men and women who have better than average looks expect to be treated like they’re “all that,” simply because they’ve always been spoiled by members of the opposite sex and so they’re conditioned to expect star treatment from anyone and everyone who crosses their path, (which I refuse to lavish on anyone, regardless of looks; kindness, yes, slavishness, no way, Jose).

My philosophy is simple: I prefer to socialize with the more average looking, down to earth types, as myself; that way friendship is much more likely, even if a romantic relationship isn’t necessarily in the offing.

Hugs from bookyone :)

]]> By: Dating Goddess http://www.datinggoddess.com/do-you-let-hunky-men-get-away-with-more/comment-page-1/#comment-3509 Dating Goddess Sat, 30 Aug 2008 06:53:28 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1343#comment-3509 Cupertino: You are very astute! Yes, I think that is exactly what happened with me. I think I was in a low period and thought, "Wow! A hunky man who says he's smitten with me. How can this be?" And yes, you're right, it did lead me to accept behavior that wasn't healthy -- at least for me. At one point, I remember telling a friend, "Men who look like that aren't attracted to me who look like me." So I set myself up to be taken advantage of, entering the relationship feeling one down rather than equal. Sad, I know. Cupertino: You are very astute! Yes, I think that is exactly what happened with me. I think I was in a low period and thought, “Wow! A hunky man who says he’s smitten with me. How can this be?” And yes, you’re right, it did lead me to accept behavior that wasn’t healthy — at least for me. At one point, I remember telling a friend, “Men who look like that aren’t attracted to me who look like me.” So I set myself up to be taken advantage of, entering the relationship feeling one down rather than equal. Sad, I know.

]]> By: Cupertino http://www.datinggoddess.com/do-you-let-hunky-men-get-away-with-more/comment-page-1/#comment-3495 Cupertino Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:11:49 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1343#comment-3495 As a man, I know I've at times become an idiot in relationships with beautiful women, and not paid enough attention to my own long-term best interests. But reflecting on this post, I realize there's more to it than mere looks. It's really about how I'm feeling about myself. When I haven't been confident about myself -- my own looks, say, or my "success" in life -- I've tended to be more attached to the outcome of a relationship. "Wow, SHE wants to be with ME?" gave a jolt to my sagging self-image; and the more attached I was to that jolt and therefore wanting (needing) the relationship to succeed, the more I let her "get away with" behavior that didn't serve me. The more attractive she was to me, the more her being with me made me think I must be worthy. And physical attractiveness was unquestionably a component, sometimes the major component. But there are other components also -- intelligence, verbal cleverness, sexual energy -- that make a woman attractive to me. Bottom line: the more attracted I was to her (for a variety of reasons), and the less sure about myself I was feeling at the time, the more that was an unhealthy combination that led me to become attached to the outcome and accept behavior from both of us that wasn't conducive to a stable, long-term, loving relationship. As a man, I know I’ve at times become an idiot in relationships with beautiful women, and not paid enough attention to my own long-term best interests. But reflecting on this post, I realize there’s more to it than mere looks.

It’s really about how I’m feeling about myself. When I haven’t been confident about myself — my own looks, say, or my “success” in life — I’ve tended to be more attached to the outcome of a relationship. “Wow, SHE wants to be with ME?” gave a jolt to my sagging self-image; and the more attached I was to that jolt and therefore wanting (needing) the relationship to succeed, the more I let her “get away with” behavior that didn’t serve me.

The more attractive she was to me, the more her being with me made me think I must be worthy. And physical attractiveness was unquestionably a component, sometimes the major component. But there are other components also — intelligence, verbal cleverness, sexual energy — that make a woman attractive to me.

Bottom line: the more attracted I was to her (for a variety of reasons), and the less sure about myself I was feeling at the time, the more that was an unhealthy combination that led me to become attached to the outcome and accept behavior from both of us that wasn’t conducive to a stable, long-term, loving relationship.

]]> By: Devon http://www.datinggoddess.com/do-you-let-hunky-men-get-away-with-more/comment-page-1/#comment-3493 Devon Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:27:43 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1343#comment-3493 My friends were shocked when I gave up on a gorgeous, accomplished, charming man. He was not the one for me. It took me 6 weeks to go from dazzled to reality. I have to admit I let him slide on a few things because he was such a great package. We had a great attraction but wanted very different things. I've learned from the experience to look a bit deeper . My friends were shocked when I gave up on a gorgeous, accomplished, charming man. He was not the one for me. It took me 6 weeks to go from dazzled to reality. I have to admit I let him slide on a few things because he was such a great package. We had a great attraction but wanted very different things. I’ve learned from the experience to look a bit deeper .

]]> By: Single Mom Seeking http://www.datinggoddess.com/do-you-let-hunky-men-get-away-with-more/comment-page-1/#comment-3492 Single Mom Seeking Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:22:30 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=1343#comment-3492 Really interesting question! I was just thinking about this... yes, it's hard to say "no" to hunkiness. But even more than that, there's something about sexual energy that pulls me in. I think that's really the key. If a man is average looking, but he has the extra flare, that assertiveness.... that's what attracts a woman. When he acts scared and unsure, it's a turn off. Agree? Really interesting question!

I was just thinking about this… yes, it’s hard to say “no” to hunkiness. But even more than that, there’s something about sexual energy that pulls me in. I think that’s really the key. If a man is average looking, but he has the extra flare, that assertiveness…. that’s what attracts a woman. When he acts scared and unsure, it’s a turn off.

Agree?

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