Dating resolutions for 2012

by Dating Goddess on January 1, 2012

Resolutions are not just declarations of what you wish you could accomplish. They are firm decisions, according to the dictionary. So as we enter 2012, what commitments, pledges and promises do you make to yourself about your dating activities?

Here are mine to get you started:

* Keep hope alive. It’s easy to get disappointed and depressed when you think you’ve found your special someone, then to have it fall apart. Or to find the singles interested in you aren’t the least bit interesting to you, and those you find intriguing don’t feel similarly.

* Be flexible. Knowing which characteristics (e.g., values) aren’t negotiable and which ones are (e.g., profession, income).

* Find a balance between continuing the quest and knowing when to give it a short rest. It’s important to not give up on finding love, but also knowing when you’re getting discouraged to taking a break.

* Continue to work on being the best me and being attractive to the type of men I want to attract. For me, that means reinvigorating my resolve to eat healthily and exercise more frequently.

* Look for the sparks of goodness in your date. Some people make that difficult, but take on the task as a game! It doesn’t mean you have to have a second date, but practice giving the other a bit of grace for the moment, unless the comment or behavior is egregious.

* Keep a sense of humor — even when you’re rejected. It’s easy to take rejection personally, but instead adopt a “oh well” attitude and move on. Resist the temptation to label him “loser” — instead chock it up to “we’re not a match.”

Share with us your dating resolutions for 2012.

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Beth January 2, 2012 at 11:02 am

My resolution is to not obsess on having to be with someone to be happy. I’ve been dating someone, but the interest is waning on both of our parts and we just haven’t communicated about it. I also have to focus on bigger things right now, as I am unemployed. It’s nice to have someone in your life, but it can be a distraction.

Dating Goddess January 2, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Beth — excellent resolution! Thanks for sharing it with us.

Star January 2, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Now lets see if I can make these last!

Lorenzo January 3, 2012 at 3:35 am

These are very good resolutions, so I will expant my list. I wish you a happy new year.

Lisa January 3, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I am going to make it a resolution to ask for what I want. Too often I have found myself with ambivalent men who seem to express interest and then disappear. For the past 2 months I guess I have been dating a man who, despite some mid-life issues, I liked. I wrote “guess” because we had never really talked about what we wanted from each other or in relationships in general although I definitely planned to do that first thing in the new year–nervous about it because I have never really done that before since I have never really had a solid healthy long term relationship before.

He went overseas for 2 weeks at the holidays and was due back to the US on the 31st but I have yet to hear from him. We used to communicate every day. Because of his circumstances, I did not expect much contact from him when he was away, but I am suddenly confused and hurt that I have not heard from him since his supposed return, not even a quick “happy new year” e-mail. Since I have know him a short time, it is not like he owes me an explanation for his silence, but I am fearing that he, despite all earlier expressed interest, will be a poofer too. It is very frustrating.

Anyway, besides not obsessing–ha ha!–my goal when I next talk to him–if I ever do again– is to clearly state what I need if the relationship is to move forward. Too often in the past, I would have just let it go along and go along and not say what I needed in terms of commitment and communication. Wish me luck and good luck to everyone else too.

Danielle January 9, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Great Points! I can think of a couple people I will be sending to this post and your site in general!

Cindy January 11, 2012 at 3:51 am

My resolution for 2012 is to not giving any importance to the age gap between me and my boyfriend! I’m 45 and he is 32, we met on an online dating website and he asked me to get married but I wasn’t sure so I postponed it! It was also embarrassing for me to introduce him to my family and my children but we spent the New Year Eve with all of them and it’s been so lovely!!!!We are gonna get married next June and I’m so in love with him that I’m feeling younger than him actually:)))) xx

znakomstva January 18, 2012 at 9:43 am

I resolution this year is to be patient and show more care as a mom.

znakomstva January 18, 2012 at 9:54 am

My resolution for 2012 is to be patient and spend more time with my family members. I love my husband so much. I want to keep him happy and support him in all his endeavors. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to share my thoughts.

Allyson January 19, 2012 at 9:31 am

My dating resolution comes from an article I read. I’m going to seriously cut down on the texting and online chatting with my man. I’m going to pick up the phone and actually talk to him if I need to talk to him, or wait until we are in person. So far it’s given us a lot more to talk about over dinner!

Matt January 22, 2012 at 1:00 am

This is a great list. It’s always important when you’re trying to succeed at dating to have clearly defined goals for the sort of person you want in your life.

Some of the most important things I find when it comes to succeeding in dating is to qualify her for the qualities you find desirable, qualities that go deeper than looks or even intelligence. Having great chemistry is a great foundation to a relationship, but you need to understand your own values deeply enough to find someone that will mirror your own. You only need to look at the divorce rates and the disposable, 10 minute society we live in to understand that most people have NO IDEA of what they value or who they are – then they complain they cannot find anyone compatible!

Megan Jones March 26, 2012 at 10:38 am

My dating goals is to be as communicative as I can. In past relationships I have unreasonably expected my partners to know what I want or how I felt without telling them. I am with a great guy now and I am constantly telling myself to verbalize my thoughts so he can know what’s going on in my head. So far it is working out well, I just need to keep it up!

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