Category: Dating after 40

  • When your ex dies

    My ex learned he had cancer 2 years ago. Since we didn’t keep in touch, I learned of it a year ago. He did semi-weekly podcasts for a few dozen friends to update them on his health. I listened to the previous 100 podcasts before reaching out via email. He said he was thrilled to […]

  • How much mind space does he take?

    When I’m smitten, or even in the beginning of a budding relationship, I think about the guy a lot. “I wonder how his day is going. Should I text him? “I should ask if he wants to come over for dinner Friday.” “I need to ask him why his marriage broke up.” “I think I’ll […]

  • Right man; wrong continent

    He was not classically good looking. He had a pronounced nose and craggy face etched from decades of intense work. But his entrancing blue eyes made everything else fade away. He stood straight so his fit 57-year-old body seemed decades younger. And when he looked at you, it felt like he really saw you. He […]

  • When certainty is a bad thing in dating

    Both genders say confidence is one of the most appealing attributes in a sweetie. However, there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance. Certainty is part of both. Here’s an example of when certainty turned unappealing.

  • The woo dance

    Wooing can be exhilarating, fun, and exciting. It’s nice to be the recipient of a man’s attention and affection. It’s especially nice when he’s good at it, but not so good it seems practiced. I’ve been the recipient of good woos and not so good ones. The latter wooers seem clumsy, perhaps out of nervousness […]

  • Cruisin’ for love

    I’m on an 11-day cruise. It’s not a singles’ cruise. Am I here looking for love?

  • When a former date passes on

    One of the unexpected experiences of dating after 40 is when someone you dated dies. I’ve had it happen twice now. Of course, death occurs at all ages. It’s just shocking when it’s someone you have met and become even a little fond of.

  • Can you be wacko on dates?

    We all have stories of some date gone awry because your companion acted strangely. In fact, we love to regale our friends with these stories whenever mid-life dating enters the conversation. We never see that we might have been the one someone is telling a story about. How could we be the focus of a […]

  • Dating as sport

    I spent some time recently with a mid-50s, never-married, long-time friend. He’s been in relationships lasting a few years, but never found someone he wanted to be with long term. But he does love women and he loves to date. He had 3 dates last weekend with different women. He said he liked all of […]

  • Dating musings from Thailand

    I just returned from 3 weeks in Thailand and Laos. My dating life never seems far from my mind. Here are some examples of a few of the activities that reminded me of my dating life.

  • Missing expressing a part of yourself

    Do you ever feel sad at missing expressing a part of who you are? Maybe you love to paint but either don’t have the time or space to do it now. Or maybe you love to swim but you live too far from a pool to do it regularly. Or maybe you are exhilarated by […]