Being “all that”

by Dating Goddess on October 15, 2009

In high school, if a girl is described as thinking she’s “all that” she’s considered arrogant, conceited, stuck up, snobbish. She thinks she’s God’s gift to the world. She’s too good for mere mortals.

Yet, when a young man describes a young woman as “all that” it’s a high compliment. He’s saying she’s sexy, attractive, desirable.

In midlife, do you exude the positive aspects of “all that”? Do you walk with your head high, straight posture, confident? Do you dress flatteringly — age appropriate, neat and well put together? Do you make easy eye contact, have a friendly facial expression?

Of course, the challenge is not to appear conceited, although my observation is that many more women behave less confident than arrogant.

The key is to feel confident, not just pretend. There are those who say “fake it ’til you make it” but I think that is short lived. You need to think of your many positive qualities. Before going out in public, tell yourself to stand tall. Make a practice of looking in the eye anyone who speaks to you. Get in the habit of smiling when you are walking.

You will create an inviting aura. People will smile back at you, say hello, and give you great service. You’ll look like someone who knows who she is and what she wants. Men find this appealing (at least healthy, sane men do).

Positive “all that” means you can be humble and self-deprecating, but with confidence. Sound contradictory? When a strong person shows vulnerability it is powerful.

When have you felt “all that” in a positive way? What self-talk enabled you to exude this presence? How did people react to you?
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