Most midlife singles have a vision of what they’d like their lives to be like in 5, 10 or 20 years. They imagine adventure trips abroad, luxury cruises, quietly enjoying their homes, or domestic RV trips. They may (or may not) have the resources to enjoy their dreams.
There’s only one thing missing.
Preferably a romantic one, not a pal.
They see themselves enjoying their future life, but they have a placeholder image of the person accompanying them. Kind of like the silhouette images on dating sites when someone hasn’t posted a picture online.
These singles know generally what they want in a partner, but they’re really not that picky. Anyone who meets the basic criteria would be acceptable.
You now enter the picture and begin dating. You meet the guy’s basic mate description, but so could hundreds of other women. You enjoy each other’s company and make each other laugh. Within weeks of starting to go out, he’s sharing his vision of you two traveling abroad, spending holidays in the tropics and adventuring in his not-yet-acquired RV.
You are simultaneously enthralled that’s he’s interested in being a couple long-term, yet a little put off that he barely knows you and is already inserting you in his 5-, 10- and 20-year plans. You have a nagging feeling.
You feel you could be just an interchangeable cog in his future dreams. You wonder is it you he wants to spend the rest of his life with, or just any woman meeting his minimum requirements.
Time will tell, of course, if he’s really into you. But you don’t know how to take his future-projecting right now. You learn to not let it bother you and stay in the present to see how you feel about him.
Want to know more about what to expect when midlife dating? Get your copy of Dipping Your Toe in the Dating Pool: Dive In Without Belly Flopping.