Comments on: “All I seem to attract are players” http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/ Dating-over-40 advice by the Dating Goddess™ Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:48:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: hunter http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1198 hunter Wed, 05 Sep 2007 23:52:35 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1198 to so cal gold, ...then, that is what you are, "a gold mine." If dressing up or down doesn't matter,,,,, you still get attention,,,, you are just a lovely woman..... to so cal gold,

…then, that is what you are, “a gold mine.” If dressing up or down doesn’t matter,,,,, you still get attention,,,, you are just a lovely woman…..

]]> By: socal.gold http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1200 socal.gold Wed, 05 Sep 2007 01:56:17 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1200 While it is certainly true that a person of either sex who clothes his or herself in a manner that screams sexiness, I have personally found having attired myself conservatively and non-conservatively, that sometimes it just doesn't matter what the heck one is wearing and/or not revealing. I have received just as much - and on occasions - MORE attention when I've worn a longer skirt, pantyhose, a medium-heeled shoe, and a blouse, that although attractive, certainly covered any appearance of cleavage. I also know that revealing too much is showing a lack of personal respect and most guys see it that way too. Basically, a man will treat U in a manner befitting the way U treat yourself. Here it 'tis folks: an individual creates the conditions or the environment that allows people to treat his or herself, in a certain manner. It's a hard thing to recognize sometimes. I know. Been there - did that - done that. Working on improving oneself and correcting negative patterns and behaviors, reveals all sorts of interesting things about oneself. It's not all bad. In fact, it's been kind of fun; a sort of challenge in a way. While it is certainly true that a person of either sex who clothes his or herself in a manner that screams sexiness, I have personally found having attired myself conservatively and non-conservatively, that sometimes it just doesn’t matter what the heck one is wearing and/or not revealing. I have received just as much – and on occasions – MORE attention when I’ve worn a longer skirt, pantyhose, a medium-heeled shoe, and a blouse, that although attractive, certainly covered any appearance of cleavage. I also know that revealing too much is showing a lack of personal respect and most guys see it that way too. Basically, a man will treat U in a manner befitting the way U treat yourself.
Here it ’tis folks: an individual creates the conditions or the environment that allows people to treat his or herself, in a certain manner. It’s a hard thing to recognize sometimes. I know. Been there – did that – done that. Working on improving oneself and correcting negative patterns and behaviors, reveals all sorts of interesting things about oneself. It’s not all bad. In fact, it’s been kind of fun; a sort of challenge in a way.

]]> By: hunter http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1183 hunter Sun, 02 Sep 2007 22:39:49 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1183 I have been told men from another country are different..... I have been told men from another country are different…..

]]> By: Gatti http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1181 Gatti Sun, 02 Sep 2007 18:02:43 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1181 I have to comment here. In three months of internet dating I went out with about 7 guys and corresponded with a slew of others that I did not date. They were all nice and seemed interested in me as a person. No one tried anything funny on the dates. With one exception they all wanted to see me again and I really, really wanted to see one of them again and he me and now, seven months later, we are still together and extremely happy with each other. I wore a turtleneck on our first date (it was February, after all), and he liked me so much I could have been wearing just about anything and I think he would have liked me anyway. Are British men different? Was I insanely lucky? Or did I just choose extremely well from the men on the site I used? I wonder... I have to comment here. In three months of internet dating I went out with about 7 guys and corresponded with a slew of others that I did not date. They were all nice and seemed interested in me as a person. No one tried anything funny on the dates. With one exception they all wanted to see me again and I really, really wanted to see one of them again and he me and now, seven months later, we are still together and extremely happy with each other.

I wore a turtleneck on our first date (it was February, after all), and he liked me so much I could have been wearing just about anything and I think he would have liked me anyway.

Are British men different? Was I insanely lucky? Or did I just choose extremely well from the men on the site I used?

I wonder…

]]> By: hunter http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1191 hunter Sun, 02 Sep 2007 09:06:37 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1191 LA, So I am told the, we must continue to go out, and date, sometimes we hope they die on the way to the bathroom, and then there are some good dates. Reason being, that by dating, we hope to remain pliable.... LA,

So I am told the, we must continue to go out, and date, sometimes we hope they die on the way to the bathroom, and then there are some good dates. Reason being, that by dating, we hope to remain pliable….

]]> By: hunter http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1195 hunter Sun, 02 Sep 2007 02:07:48 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1195 dating goddess, you are one busy person,,,,,"hundreds of dates",.. dating goddess,

you are one busy person,,,,,”hundreds of dates”,..

]]> By: hunter http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1192 hunter Sat, 01 Sep 2007 20:15:04 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1192 LA ...maybe they see you as equal, I don't really know, we do give out BS. In fact, I sense some BS in the description of "equals," that confide in you. The men that I know(and there are all kinds out there), that date often,(players, seducers, pickup artists) they don't talk about their strategies, like you mentioned(going for the younger crowd, money spent). Believe me, I have stuck around to see them operate.( hoping to get a date from 10's/model looks, they turn down, hmm how funny!) They usually like to keep it hush, hush,...... LA
…maybe they see you as equal, I don’t really know, we do give out BS. In fact, I sense some BS in the description of “equals,” that confide in you. The men that I know(and there are all kinds out there), that date often,(players, seducers, pickup artists) they don’t talk about their strategies, like you mentioned(going for the younger crowd, money spent). Believe me, I have stuck around to see them operate.( hoping to get a date from 10′s/model looks, they turn down, hmm how funny!) They usually like to keep it hush, hush,……

]]> By: LA http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1186 LA Sat, 01 Sep 2007 18:34:52 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1186 To Hunter Actually, I don't date. I don't see the point of it. Men tell me these things because they see me as an equal, their friend and confidant. BTW you are right - I am a goddess. I am beautiful and intelligent and I have created my own wealth and security. I am tired of the BS that men give out. That is why I don't date. To Hunter

Actually, I don’t date. I don’t see the point of it. Men tell me these things because they see me as an equal, their friend and confidant. BTW you are right – I am a goddess. I am beautiful and intelligent and I have created my own wealth and security. I am tired of the BS that men give out. That is why I don’t date.

]]> By: Dating Goddess http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1185 Dating Goddess Sat, 01 Sep 2007 18:18:00 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1185 Hunter: It's 78 *men* -- hundreds of dates -- in nearly 3 years. No that is not hundreds of men, but it is enough to know what I know -- and don't know! Hunter:

It’s 78 *men* — hundreds of dates — in nearly 3 years. No that is not hundreds of men, but it is enough to know what I know — and don’t know!

]]> By: hunter http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1190 hunter Sat, 01 Sep 2007 17:10:44 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1190 to LA .....is that what men tell you?...hhmmmmh...you must be a goddess yourself...... to LA

…..is that what men tell you?…hhmmmmh…you must be a goddess yourself……

]]> By: hunter http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1189 hunter Sat, 01 Sep 2007 17:05:49 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1189 mmmhmmm, dating goddess, says she has been on 78 or 79 dates....... mmmhmmm, dating goddess, says she has been on 78 or 79 dates…….

]]> By: hunter http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1188 hunter Sat, 01 Sep 2007 16:58:07 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1188 to rod, you are right! Many women do that! They show men where the cookie jar is, and then they say, you cannot have any cookies!....that is why some men keep two,,,,,,,,, one for the lay,,,,, to cool your jets off,,,,,,,,, so that we can be gentlemanly, take it slow, don't have to demand sex from the woman we really want,,,, when the one we really want,,,,comes around showing cleavage, or she may be wearing see through whatever....but you know how that goes, some of us men, we are not very swift.......... to rod,

you are right! Many women do that! They show men where the cookie jar is, and then they say, you cannot have any cookies!….that is why some men keep two,,,,,,,,, one for the lay,,,,, to cool your jets off,,,,,,,,, so that we can be gentlemanly, take it slow, don’t have to demand sex from the woman we really want,,,, when the one we really want,,,,comes around showing cleavage, or she may be wearing see through whatever….but you know how that goes, some of us men, we are not very swift……….

]]> By: Rod http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1187 Rod Sat, 01 Sep 2007 15:41:00 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1187 Cleavage or what you wear is only part of it. It holds true in real life, but you can see it online all the time: Its those women who are doing whatever they can in their pics to be in a subtly sexual pose, and then their profile quite rightfully says, "Im tired of players and one night stands. I want someone who will love me for me." So, the sign above the storefront display says "Loving woman looking for honest relatinship" and the picture in the display says, 'Come and get it, boys'. But dont they know that once they've glanced in the window, most men forget how to read? Cleavage or what you wear is only part of it. It holds true in real life, but you can see it online all the time: Its those women who are doing whatever they can in their pics to be in a subtly sexual pose, and then their profile quite rightfully says, “Im tired of players and one night stands. I want someone who will love me for me.”
So, the sign above the storefront display says “Loving woman looking for honest relatinship” and the picture in the display says, ‘Come and get it, boys’. But dont they know that once they’ve glanced in the window, most men forget how to read?

]]> By: singlemomseeking http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1182 singlemomseeking Sat, 01 Sep 2007 15:21:42 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1182 Mady, As a single mom who's out there dating, I agree with many points that you make. It seems as if I'm meeting one 40+ man after another -- TV-watcher, bit of a belly, has a dog -- who holds onto being a bachelor but wants the hottie on the weekends... But for the record, I want you to know that the Dating Goddess has LOADS of dating experience. I happen to know her personally. This woman puts herself out there. She is writing from experience. Mady,

As a single mom who’s out there dating, I agree with many points that you make. It seems as if I’m meeting one 40+ man after another — TV-watcher, bit of a belly, has a dog — who holds onto being a bachelor but wants the hottie on the weekends…

But for the record, I want you to know that the Dating Goddess has LOADS of dating experience. I happen to know her personally. This woman puts herself out there. She is writing from experience.

]]> By: LA http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1184 LA Sat, 01 Sep 2007 13:48:07 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1184 There is a lot of truth in Maddy's comment. Men in my age group (40-50) are not interested in LTRs (they tell me so). They are divorced, and want to do the bach thing. They have their mates, their toys, their dog, why do they want another woman to tie them down. They are pretty much interested in a sex only relationship, and the younger they can get them the better. It doesn't matter what you wear or how you present yourself they really don't care. These men are not "hunks" either. They are average, normal guys who are fed up with women. Why would a man date a mature grown woman and all that comes with it when he can have a wild night with a 20 something for $100.00. Men tell this all the time. There is a lot of truth in Maddy’s comment. Men in my age group (40-50) are not interested in LTRs (they tell me so). They are divorced, and want to do the bach thing. They have their mates, their toys, their dog, why do they want another woman to tie them down. They are pretty much interested in a sex only relationship, and the younger they can get them the better. It doesn’t matter what you wear or how you present yourself they really don’t care. These men are not “hunks” either. They are average, normal guys who are fed up with women. Why would a man date a mature grown woman and all that comes with it when he can have a wild night with a 20 something for $100.00. Men tell this all the time.

]]> By: hunter http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1194 hunter Sat, 01 Sep 2007 09:35:16 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1194 to mady, you say, 'there are only 2 kinds of men, players and wannabe players." Are you selecting men with your eyes? Try using your ears to select a man. Try and stay away from the, "jaw dropping, good looking, hunks." to mady,

you say, ‘there are only 2 kinds of men, players and wannabe players.” Are you selecting men with your eyes? Try using your ears to select a man. Try and stay away from the, “jaw dropping, good looking, hunks.”

]]> By: hunter http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1193 hunter Sat, 01 Sep 2007 09:21:47 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1193 Wear what you want to wear, when you want to wear it, and find out for yourself. I sense you are a grown woman and you can take care of yourself very well, in, any situation. Wear what you want to wear, when you want to wear it, and find out for yourself. I sense you are a grown woman and you can take care of yourself very well, in, any situation.

]]> By: nysharon http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1197 nysharon Fri, 31 Aug 2007 18:45:18 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1197 I think you should in invest in low cut tops to attract guys as long as you go sophisticated and not slutty, why not? Think of fishing---use the right bait and reap the harvest. Then you can decide who is worthy. It is how you keep them interested later and what you portray in conversation is what matters. I found on-line that there were a lot of players. It is the perfect venue for them. There is no accountablity, they can go poof, they can lie, and the next victim....hmmm woman is just a click away. I think you should in invest in low cut tops to attract guys as long as you go sophisticated and not slutty, why not? Think of fishing—use the right bait and reap the harvest. Then you can decide who is worthy. It is how you keep them interested later and what you portray in conversation is what matters. I found on-line that there were a lot of players. It is the perfect venue for them. There is no accountablity, they can go poof, they can lie, and the next victim….hmmm woman is just a click away.

]]> By: ED http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1196 ED Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:45:04 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1196 As a widowed male, I can tell you that an awful lot of women in my age category (over 65) are either looking for a quick roll in the hay or marriage. As soon as casual dating is mentioned they disappear. What ever happened to check compatibility dating before jumping into LTR? As a widowed male, I can tell you that an awful lot of women in my age category (over 65) are either looking for a quick roll in the hay or marriage. As soon as casual dating is mentioned they disappear. What ever happened to check compatibility dating before jumping into LTR?

]]> By: kitadiva http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1201 kitadiva Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:24:12 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1201 I think guys likey breast and if they can see, cop a feel etc. and not get screamed at or slapped some of them ( the guys with no manners, self countrol and couth) will. LOL. If you do not advertise yourself all of the time, present yourself as a woman who will be treated like a lady then men either will a) get it b) have their own agendas and ignore what you said c) try to make the into a one night stand regardless. Is it ALWAYS about your clothes - no. It is also what you allow the guy to talk to you about, how you treat yourself and how you demand to be treated. If a guy cannot get the clue that you are not a whore or a chickenhead - that you are going to take some time to get to know, that sex talk on the first date is a complete turn off etc. then to heck with him. You get treated in the way that you treat yourself, the way you treat others and in what you DEMAND. I request respect, kindness, silliness and extreme considerate behavior and if the guy does not get it, I pay my bill, wish him well and walk to my vehichle. It is what it is. I think guys likey breast and if they can see, cop a feel etc. and not get screamed at or slapped some of them ( the guys with no manners, self countrol and couth) will. LOL. If you do not advertise yourself all of the time, present yourself as a woman who will be treated like a lady then men either will a) get it b) have their own agendas and ignore what you said c) try to make the into a one night stand regardless. Is it ALWAYS about your clothes – no. It is also what you allow the guy to talk to you about, how you treat yourself and how you demand to be treated. If a guy cannot get the clue that you are not a whore or a chickenhead – that you are going to take some time to get to know, that sex talk on the first date is a complete turn off etc. then to heck with him. You get treated in the way that you treat yourself, the way you treat others and in what you DEMAND. I request respect, kindness, silliness and extreme considerate behavior and if the guy does not get it, I pay my bill, wish him well and walk to my vehichle. It is what it is.

]]> By: MADY http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1202 MADY Fri, 31 Aug 2007 11:30:48 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1202 Let me enlighten you, I have been dating via the net for 5 yrs.. there are only 2 kinds of men out there players and wannabe players.. divorced men are available because they were lousy (usually cheating) husbands These guys had to be some loosers for any sane woman to dump him in the first place.. They lie about everything, they hit on everyone, What you wear rarely has anything to do with it..(Unless you dress like a streetwalker) then they run cause they are afraid you may charge LOL I have had hundreds of 1x meeting dates with men from 25 to 70 and rarely did I ever want to see them again.(less then 10%) From what I have read in your column you dont seem to have much personal experience dating..You seem to gleen all your info from other articles.. perhaps you need an expert in the field. ME! I am over 40 and actually do date..I haver had 3 dates this week and will be meeting #4 for coffee after my morning walk..LOL Let me enlighten you, I have been dating via the net for 5 yrs..
there are only 2 kinds of men out there players and wannabe players.. divorced men are available because they were lousy
(usually cheating) husbands These guys had to be some loosers for any sane woman to dump him in the first place..
They lie about everything, they hit on everyone,
What you wear rarely has anything to do with it..(Unless you dress like a streetwalker) then they run cause they are afraid you may charge LOL
I have had hundreds of 1x meeting dates with men from 25 to 70 and rarely did I ever want to see them again.(less then 10%)
From what I have read in your column you dont seem to have much personal experience dating..You seem to gleen all your info from other articles..
perhaps you need an expert in the field. ME! I am over 40 and actually do date..I haver had 3 dates this week and will be meeting #4 for coffee after my morning walk..LOL

]]> By: MADY http://www.datinggoddess.com/all-i-seem-to-attract-are-players/comment-page-1/#comment-1199 MADY Fri, 31 Aug 2007 11:29:24 +0000 http://www.datinggoddess.com/?p=621#comment-1199 Let me enlighten you, I have been dating via the net for 5 yrs.. there are only 2 kinds of men out there players and wannabe players.. divorced men are available because they were lousy (usually cheating) husbands These guys had to be some loosers for any sane woman to dump him in the first place.. They lie about everything, they hit on everyone, What you wear rarely has anything to do with it..(Unless you dress like a streetwalker) then they run cause they are afraid you may charge LOL I have had hundreds of 1x meeting dates with men from 25 to 70 and rarely did I ever want to see them again.(less then 10%) From what I have read in your column you dont seem to have much personal experience dating..You seem to gleen all your info from other articles.. perhaps you need an expert in the field. ME! I am over 40 and actually do date..I haver had 3 datges this week and will be meeting #4 for coffee after my morning walk..LOL Let me enlighten you, I have been dating via the net for 5 yrs..
there are only 2 kinds of men out there players and wannabe players.. divorced men are available because they were lousy
(usually cheating) husbands These guys had to be some loosers for any sane woman to dump him in the first place..
They lie about everything, they hit on everyone,
What you wear rarely has anything to do with it..(Unless you dress like a streetwalker) then they run cause they are afraid you may charge LOL
I have had hundreds of 1x meeting dates with men from 25 to 70 and rarely did I ever want to see them again.(less then 10%)
From what I have read in your column you dont seem to have much personal experience dating..You seem to gleen all your info from other articles..
perhaps you need an expert in the field. ME! I am over 40 and actually do date..I haver had 3 datges this week and will be meeting #4 for coffee after my morning walk..LOL

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