Losing interest

by Dating Goddess on December 14, 2015

A common complaint among women dating after 40 is that men just go poof. They suddenly stop calling, texting or emailing. There wasn’t a fight. No responding to your outreach. They just disappear.

While I think it is a coward’s way to end any kind of connection, even if just a few dates, I understand that many men are conflict averse when it comes to women. They don’t want a fight and they certainly don’t want a woman in tears. It seems that tears are a man’s kryptonite — it renders them powerless.
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“I want to make love to you.”

by Dating Goddess on September 22, 2015

The first time I heard this, I was flattered. I thought my date must think I’m sexy, attractive, appealing and special.

Now I’ve heard this too often on the first or second date. In the beginning, I wondered, “He barely knows me. How does he know he wants to get intimate?”

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Nice guys can be too nice

by Dating Goddess on September 1, 2015

Every woman dating over 40 says she wants a nice guy — you’d never think to want anyone who wasn’t.

Yet where’s the line between “nice” and “wuss”?
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Lopsided love

by Dating Goddess on August 24, 2015

Shakespeare popularized the term “unrequited love.” I had no idea how frequently this happens until I started dating after 40.

People often ask me, “Why haven’t you found someone?”

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Is he emotionally abusive?

by Dating Goddess on July 29, 2015

She said he has given her a 2-week probation to decide if he wanted to stay or go.
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When your ex dies

by Dating Goddess on July 2, 2015

My ex learned he had cancer 2 years ago. Since we didn’t keep in touch, I learned of it a year ago. He did semi-weekly podcasts for a few dozen friends to update them on his health. I listened to the previous 100 podcasts before reaching out via email.

He said he was thrilled to hear from me and was stunned that I would listen to all 100 previous podcasts. I’d asked if now we could be friends and he said he’d like nothing better. We exchanged a few emails and he said he’d like to talk about the end of our marriage as he was sure I had some questions — which I did. I asked for some good times to call since he was so overwhelmed with treatment appointments and recovery. However, he never closed the loop to set up a call, so I decided I’d make the 600 mile trip to visit him and have that discussion face to face. A few months ago, his doctors had given him 18 to 24 months, so there was plenty of time.
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How much mind space does he take?

by Dating Goddess on June 19, 2015

When I’m smitten, or even in the beginning of a budding relationship, I think about the guy a lot.

“I wonder how his day is going. Should I text him?
“I should ask if he wants to come over for dinner Friday.”
“I need to ask him why his marriage broke up.”
“I think I’ll ask him to accompany to the party next weekend.”

This sort of incessant chatter fills my idle thoughts. I rarely have time to think of my other interests.
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Right man; wrong continent

by Dating Goddess on May 22, 2015

He was not classically good looking. He had a pronounced nose and craggy face etched from decades of intense work. But his entrancing blue eyes made everything else fade away.

He stood straight so his fit 57-year-old body seemed decades younger. And when he looked at you, it felt like he really saw you. He listened and asked intelligent relevant questions. The combination was sexy — my married gal pals felt it too. He was divorced.

We met speaking at a conference in Singapore. We spent all our downtime together the next 3 days. I invited him to a small dinner party with some of my pals. He got along with them beautifully, balancing listening to their stories, asking questions and sharing his own experiences.

But alas, it was not to be.

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When certainty is a bad thing in dating

by Dating Goddess on May 10, 2015

Both genders say confidence is one of the most appealing attributes in a sweetie.

However, there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance. Certainty is part of both. Here’s an example of when certainty turned unappealing.
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The woo dance

April 22, 2015

Wooing can be exhilarating, fun, and exciting. It’s nice to be the recipient of a man’s attention and affection. It’s especially nice when he’s good at it, but not so good it seems practiced. I’ve been the recipient of good woos and not so good ones. The latter wooers seem clumsy, perhaps out of nervousness […]

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Cruisin’ for love

March 16, 2015

I’m on an 11-day cruise. It’s not a singles’ cruise. Am I here looking for love?

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