Lately I’ve noticed myself getting angry with men I’m getting to know. The causes can be varied: he doesn’t call when he says he will, he doesn’t call for weeks then acts like we talked yesterday, he gets too fresh too soon, he doesn’t honor my stated boundaries, he makes assumptions without checking them out…
Month: February 2008
Assuming privileges
When you talk to a potential suitor regularly for more than a few weeks before meeting, a false sense of intimacy can develop. In flirty or soul-baring emails and/or phone conversations, you can begin to feel a budding emotional connection to the other. Then when you do meet, there is an odd closeness. You feel…
Is he willing to be vulnerable?
Women typically say they want a guy who is willing to be vulnerable with them, and with whom they can be the same. I’ve dated some men for months who never shared a vulnerable thought, even if I asked about his hopes, fears, dreams and regrets. Nothing. So I was pleased that a man I’ve…
Has your guy been metro-ed?
Metro — as in metrosexual. According to Dictionary.com metrosexual, or metro, describes “a heterosexual male who has a strong aesthetic sense and inordinate interest in appearance and style, similar to that of homosexual males.”UrbanDictionary.com includes the following description: “Mint (great) guys who are SNAGs (Sensitive New Age Guys) and follow the following rules: dress hot…
My boyfriend, whom I haven’t met
A man has been wooing me the last 6 weeks, first via email while I was abroad, then during daily phone calls, emails and/or text messages. We haven’t met, however, because 3 days after I returned home, he was called to his dying mother’s side 2000 miles away. While the doctors told him she only…
First-encounter mismatch
DG reader PC wrote: I enjoy your columns on LifeTwo.com. What do you do if it is obvious in the first 5 minutes that there is not a fit? Do you sludge through the evening or cut your losses early? I don’t mean to be cruel but sometimes it seems to be worse to lead…
On Valentine’s Day: A lesson for the world on how to love
Sometimes profound advice and insights can come from unlikely places. Recently, I breakfasted in the Atlanta Crowne Plaza Hotel executive lounge. Addice, the attending concierge, conversed with me while I ate. She was a twenty-something, slender, attractive black woman from Ethiopia. Not having much opportunity to interact with Ethiopians — at least beyond the occasional…
Review of “The Four Man Plan: A Romantic Science”
Cindy Lu has written a funny — albeit gutter-language-laden — book about systematically classifying the men you date. So if you don’t like to read language you’d hear in most comedy clubs, you’d best pass on this one. She is an actress and stand-up comedian, which is where this book got its start. She lays…
Sweetie-less on Valentine’s Day
This can be a difficult time of year for those who don’t have a main squeeze. And if you’ve just begun to date someone, Valentine’s Day can be awkward, as you aren’t yet each other’s valentine. So what to do? Last year, in “Dateless for Valentine’s?” I discussed how you can show yourself you’re loved….
Are you buff buddies?
You love working out. You are proud of your taut, fit body. You feel poorly if you don’t exercise for a day. You have made this a priority in your life. How do you feel if you have a coffee date with someone who may not share your zest for exercise? Do you dismiss him…
I’m baaaaaack!
While a month away can seem like a long time, it doesn’t when you’re in it. In fact, time took on a surrealism that I don’t experience when I am in the US. Because everything was so new and different — especially in India — every day seemed full. Cities we’d visited just days ago…