A year ago when I began writing my experiences of and lessons on midlife dating I was told to check out a book by another woman on her stories of reentering the dating world after 50. I was told my writing style was somewhat similar, but I purposefully didn’t read it because I didn’t want…
Month: June 2007
What do others see through your glasses?
In Dorothy Parker‘s 1936 poem “News Item,*” she wrote of feeling that men were not likely to be drawn to — make a pass at — women who wore glasses. I don’t know if that is still true, 70 years later. Some men, like my last beau, said he thought women in glasses were sexy….
Do you think you’ll change his mind?
Yesterday, I ran into a high-school buddy — someone I hadn’t seen in over 30 years. He stopped me at our neighborhood’s dance party, to which the whole city is invited. Out of 10,000 people, he picked me out of the crowd. I guess I haven’t changed a great deal since high school! Catching up,…
Tips for initiating online contact
Recently a DG reader asked: Do you have any tips on initiating online contact in a way that will get someone’s attention without sending them running for the hills? I’ve tried commenting on common interests or similar life situations with little success. In the last 3 weeks I’ve contacted 6 potential dates and had one…
The working date
I was interviewed yesterday by a Wall Street Journal reporter on the concept of working dates. Does this mean you bring your date to work, as you would bring a son or daughter on those “bring your kid to work” days? Does it mean you agree to have a date where you do chores around…
Is Brad Pitt ruining your love life?
Last night I saw Ocean’s Thirteen. It was an eye-candy feast, with George Clooney and Brad Pitt 25-feet high. Yum! We know how effective media is in shaping our perspective, even our values, including our self-image. We know that being bombarded with images of beautiful men and women molds our vision of attractiveness. As we…
Are you depriving yourself of lessons?
The other day my friend, bestselling author Sam Horn*, let loose with another one of her sage sayings: “You can’t learn anything from experiences you aren’t having.” —Louis L’Amour I immediately thought of the women who’ve said they would like to date, but can’t quite get up the gumption to do so. People look at…
Approaching dating like a buffet
A dating friend asked if there were any new interesting men on the horizon as I reenter the dating scene after the meltdown. I shared that an intriguing sounding man showed up in my Chemistry.com matches. He’s a graduate school professor at a nearby internationally renowned university. I said, “Even if we’re not attracted to…
How does your parents’ relationship affect yours?
Our parents are often our role models for relationships, for better or worse. No matter how much I rejected my parents’ toxic relationship as a template, I’m sure messages of how a couple treats one another were deeply embedded in my psyche. Today would have been my mother’s 83rd birthday. When my mother was a…
How you know you’re over a guy
One of you has called it quits. If it is him, you may harbor lingering hopes he’ll IM, text, email or call you. This delusion may last days, weeks, months, or even years. Even if you pulled the plug, you may secretly hope he’ll see the error of his ways and apologetically come back. So…
Learning about male magnetism from … rats
Perhaps you’ve lived this common scenario: You’ve dated a guy a few times. You hit it off and enjoy each other a lot. You feel great around him. He treats you well when you’re together. However, he calls unpredictably, emails periodically, and you see him only sporadically. If you call him, it may take him…