Today I was strolling down the fresh men aisle at my favorite dating site. No one was enticing enough to pick off the shelf and examine more closely. I wasn’t even drawn to read any labels (profiles). What was wrong? Lack of marketing. With very few exceptions, online daters don’t know how to get people…
Month: June 2007
Signs of manipulation
DG reader Bigi asked me to address the topic of manipulation. Specifically, how to tell if a man is trying to manipulate you. She says, “I am so gullible and really want to trust so I tend to trust the wrong fellows because I just don’t realize how I have been manipulated.” While some of…
Are you set in your ways?
A complaint I hear from midlife daters is that others they date seem set in their ways. This can become evident on the first date or it may take a while. But for those who this describes, it eventually comes out. It might be an unwillingness to try a new cuisine, refusal to travel abroad,…
Stood up!
Have you ever been stood up for a date? Whether you have already or regrettably, may be in the future, it’s useful to examine your options. Here’s how I explored mine. A new potential suitor (#77) and I arranged for a dinner first date last night. He called two days ago to set a time….
Truffles, pigs and romance
You may have heard of the pheromone androstenone, found in boar saliva, that is similar to what men secrete through sweat glands. It is said to drive some females into a frenzy. Did you know that truffles (the wild mushroom kind not the chocolate kind) smell similarly? Truffles’ scent is what makes sows such effective…
Midlife dating is like garage sale shopping
Do you like to shop at garage sales, swap meets, flea markets or eBay? I do. I’ve noticed some similarities to midlife dating. Some friends eschew bargain shopping, as they say it reflects scarcity thinking. This could be true if you felt hand-me-downs were the only option for you — that you couldn’t afford —…
The truth-telling session
It’s happened. Something we have been discussing in this blog and comments for a little while. The issue is if you tell a guy you’ve dated but released what drives you batty about him, so he can fix it so it won’t bother future love interests. Yesterday, my first post-divorce beau emailed asking if I’d…
Midlife dating etiquette
The other day I was asked me for some rules of etiquette for when one is beginning to date. While etiquette is, according to the dictionary, “the customary code of polite behavior,” there are no hard and fast rules. What is rude to one is not a big deal for another. Following are what I’ve…
Care of newbie daters
Many midlife daters reenter the dating scene after a long absence. If they aren’t a long-time single, they are available again because of divorce or death of their spouse. At this age, many are sensitive to fading looks and possibly squishy bodies, even though others are buffer and more attractive than ever before. Midlifers are…
Do you project life with your date?
Do you project your life into the future with the guy you’ve just started dating — sometimes even before you’ve met? I’ve been guilty of this, as well as been on the receiving end. Let me give you some examples: Yesterday I had a first coffee date with an award-winning professor at a local internationally…
The fear of finding “The One”
We can call it commitment phobia. But before we label it, let’s examine it. I’d bet it has happened to nearly all of us at one time or another. You meet someone terrific, and he feels similarly. You date for a while — months or even years. You say you are committed to each other,…