Lately, some DG readers have shared their unwillingness to move on from a love gone sour. Sometimes they know they need to, but can’t seem to cut that last emotional thread that leaves them feeling debilitated and unable to get on with their lives. Others seem to relish wallowing in retelling how the last guy…
Month: February 2007
Review of “Dating Without Drama”
I recently read Paige Parker’s eBook, Dating Without Drama. In it she covers typical dating book topics like how to meet men, getting a guy to ask you out, first dating tips, post-date drama, The Calling Game decoded, deciding if he is “boyfriend material,” showing him you’re “girlfriend material,” getting intimate, meeting the friends/family and…
What are your deal breakers?
I was interviewed the other day by an engaging reporter from the San José Mercury News who was doing a piece on deal breakers. After over an hour on the phone, we’d explored this topic from nearly every angle. He wanted to know if deal breakers are a good thing, or do we perhaps need…
“Date #75 requests permission to land”
Passing the airport the other day, my friend Ken noticed the many planes lined up for miles awaiting their turn to approach the runway. He said he immediately thought of my always having an endless stream of potential suitors lined up in various stages of “landing” a date with me. It’s true that I am…
Allow him to change his mind
I hear women complain about guys who suggest future plans or verbalize their affection in the early stages of dating. Then these women are irritated, nay angry, when the guy disappears. It is easy to do and I’ve found myself doing it, too. Instead of labeling the guys “liars,” “jerks,” “losers,” and “snakes,” why not…
What do women fear?
My friend Steve pointed out the article “What Scares a Man?” by David Zinczenko. In it Zinczenko illuminates 15 things that frighten men. I was struck by how many of the 15 also apply to women. Things like rejection, being a lousy lover, living paycheck to paycheck, not seeing your kids grow up, losing a…
Are you stingy in dating?
Stingy: unwilling to give or spend; ungenerous. When most of us hear the word “stingy” we think of miserly, penny-pinching, Scroogelike, tightfisted, cheap and skinflint. You could be one of these things in dating if you never offer to pick up a tab, buy tickets, or buy even a nominal gift for your guy. Male…
Releasing revenge
In a seminar I was leading, a customer service provider was irritated by the rude customers she dealt with daily. “I want to know how to get back at them,” she demanded of me. When someone has wronged us, it is common to want revenge. When a man has led us on, then unceremoniously dumped…
A primer for how to become more romantic
In “What’s your definition of romance?” we talked about specific activities that most women consider romantic. However, I’ve been thinking more about what comprises romance. Then I got this question from a male reader in response to the posting “The Valentine’s angst is upon us“: I have some angst about Valentine’s Day. It is a…
All you need is love?
The other day I had coffee with a man I dated briefly a year ago and with whom I’ve stayed in touch. As we were catching up, he chided me for not having an elective medical procedure that he thinks is important and I think is less so. When he pressed why I hadn’t done…
What’s your date’s score on the Delight/Disappointment Scale?
Competitive people keep score. They note accumulated points and penalties. I think we unconsciously do this with our dates. So I’ve devised a chart to illustrate what usually happens in our minds. We track the things we like and weigh them against the things we don’t like or are disappointed by. Sometimes these disappointments are…