Even when there isn’t the immediate physical attraction or chemistry, I’ll sometimes see a guy again to see if there is any underlying spark that needs a second chance to be kindled. If there was nothing odious on the first date, I may try once more. Last night is a good example. The gentleman arrived…
Month: June 2006
Courage and dating
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” —Anais Nin Last night in a class I’m taking, I briefly shared my story about how I’ve come to reenter the dating world, and how much I’ve learned from many of the men I’ve met. The instructor told me she was awed by the courage I…
From hurt to flirt
When my husband of 20 years left me I was stunned. I didn’t see it coming. After crying in a fetal position for a week, I had a talk with myself. I decided I was going to see if I could turn around the situation into something positive. I had a knack for doing so…
Dating angels
What is a dating angel? No, not the person you are dating — although some of them can be angelic. A dating angel is a stranger who helps you feel good about yourself. Someone who gives you an emotional lift, who flirts with you, or makes you feel attractive. For example, I was sitting at…
Guys make a great first impression with a small gift
The other day I had a first date with a guy who brought me a present — a recent bestselling book he thought I’d like. It was a great gift, as it is in the genre I read and I hadn’t read it yet. Thumbs up! One guy’s first-date gift was a CD of romantic…
Tracking your date’s score
A guy begins with 100 units. He can add to these units by doing good things (e.g., calling when he says he will, being chivalrous, suggesting activities he thinks I’d like, bringing small gifts, remembering info from previous conversations), smiling, making me laugh, having a good vocabulary, using proper grammar, dressing in clean, appropriate clothes,…
Dating as a job interview
Early on, I scoffed when I was told men see dating as a job interview. How could finding love be similar to finding a job? But then a guy recited his resume to me. I learned where and when he went to school, his major, and a litany of his jobs, including dates and companies….
Ambivalence
Ambivalence is the bane of the dating world. I’ve had plenty of pleasant dates with guys who were smart, educated, successful, attractive yet I felt if I saw him again, fine; if not, fine. I debated with myself whether I’d accept a second date or not. On the one hand, there was nothing odious or…
Good conversation is the foundation of great dating
One of the things that has stood out for me in interactions with the last four potential suitors is that guys (at least the ones I've encountered) don't know how to make conversation. I'm not just talking chit chat, but any kind of give and take. And that is precisely what is missing — give…
Pictures: To post or not to post — that is the question
At lunch today, a single friend was lamenting the challenge of finding Mr. Right. In her early 40’s, never married, educated, intelligent, funny and beautiful, she wants to have a family and is feeling the pressure. When discussing online dating sites, she said she doesn’t post her picture because she wants men to be attracted…
A tale of two phone calls
Yesterday I had a first phone call with a potential date. While his profile was refreshing and intriguing, the conversation was strained. I tried to pull him out by asking questions related to his profile comments. Although he’d initiated contact with me within 24 hours of the call, he asked me nothing about my profile…