New guy

by Dating Goddess on December 16, 2014

The beginning of getting to know someone is both energizing and frightening. The energy comes from enjoying the conversation and fantasizing about what could be.

The frightening part comes from remembering past first encounters that didn’t result in a second. If you found the man appealing and wanted to see him again but he felt otherwise, the rejection stings.
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Scratching his head

by Dating Goddess on November 30, 2014

A friend’s 35-year-old son accompanied his father and step-mother to visit me recently. I’d gotten to know him as a young man and he was in town so they wanted us all to catch up.

He’s a nice guy, but he has some “issues” most women would have a hard time getting around. As he shared that he’s had trouble getting a girlfriend I had to bite my tongue from saying, “I can understand why.”

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Are you too clingy?

by Dating Goddess on August 14, 2014

“Clingy” has different definitions to different people. Some like their space, while others like to be continually touching when together. Others like to show their affection often and in public and some are more reserved.

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What’s appropriate first-date attire?

by Dating Goddess on August 3, 2014

After a few good phone conversations, we agreed to meet for afternoon coffee. It was a beautiful perfect-weather day, so I decided to wear a cute summer outfit.  I spent an hour taking a shower, dressing and getting my cute on.

Arriving early, I staked out an outdoor table at the coffee shop. He called to say he just drove by and was parking. That was thoughtful.
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“Somebody That I Used To Know”

by Dating Goddess on July 28, 2014

I love that song by Gotye. I think it encapsulates the lingering hurt many of us feel after an unpleasant breakup.

When I first heard the song, I immediately thought the title perfectly reflected my feelings about my ex. I didn’t have the resentment expressed in the lyrics, but the title seemed to fit. However, after 20 years together, how could he really be just be someone I used to know? Yes, it did feel like it was eons ago — another lifetime — that we were together. Yet there are sweet memories of the times we shared.

But some recent news of his enduring some serious health challenges made me want to understand what he was going through. Last  Spring, when he was diagnosed with cancer, he began recording 5-minute updates for his pals to understand what was happening without having to update dozens of people individually. He uploaded them to a public site, so when a mutual friend shared his situation had worsened, I listened to over 100 of the 134 podcasts, starting with the first one.
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How needy are you?

by Dating Goddess on July 18, 2014

You may have heard there’s a new smartphone app named “Yo.”

It allows the sender to send a message: Yo.

And the responder can respond with “Yo.”

That’s it. That’s all it does.

Wonder why you’d want such an app?
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“Keep in touch”

by Dating Goddess on July 6, 2014

When one ends a first date, sometimes it’s awkward. You’re not sure if he enjoyed himself as much as you did. You’re waiting for a clue he did. Sometimes it’s in what he says as you’re saying goodbye.

“I’d love to see you again,” is a sure sign.

“I had a great time and would love to take you to dinner.” Even better.

“I’ll call you.” Not so much, as few do.

“Take care.” Not likely you’ll ever hear from him again.

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Have we become grumpy old daters?

by Dating Goddess on May 28, 2014

As people age, some become happier and more care free, choosing to look at each day as a blessing, and not to sweat small inconveniences.

Others seem to focus more on pointing out any inconvenience to those who they think caused it — or anyone within earshot.

I’d been told that during my search for my next love I’d encounter more of the latter than the former. Grumps who were set in their ways, and are quick to point out anything that didn’t match their view of how the world should be.
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Travel partner with benefits

by Dating Goddess on April 23, 2014

My post-divorce dating has not yielded a beau who liked — or had the means — to travel. I love to travel so have scratched my itch by traveling with or meeting up with friends.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t been invited to travel with men, but unfortunately, they’ve been men I haven’t yet met or had met only once or twice. I knew they were really just looking for a travel partner with benefits, as they asked me to share their cruise cabin or their hotel room. I wanted to avoid being stuck on another continent with someone who was ponderous or obnoxious.

I’m now getting to know a man who lives 500 miles away and has travel benefits from retiring from an airline. Several times a month he travels cross country to visit family, or abroad for a brief respite. In our initial call, he offered that one of the benefits to his future sweetheart was as much travel as she wanted. I teased him, “We haven’t even met and you’re already sweetening the pot!”

And it is indeed a sweetener, as I love exploring new places and visiting friends abroad.

However, there are some drawbacks.
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Moving from friends to more

February 26, 2014

Have you ever had a guy friend-crush? A guy pal who you’d like to be more? But you haven’t flirted or made your interest known because he might already have a wife or girlfriend? Or maybe you’ve been too afraid of ruining the good friendship you have if a romance doesn’t work out?

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Emotional cheating

February 17, 2014

Much has been written about how Facebook has helped end many marriages because people rekindle relationships with old flames. They begin romancing each other through emails, texts and calls until their allegiance to their spouse withers and they have become etionally attached to their new-old flame. Sometimes the damage is done without their actually seeing […]

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